User:Galiwangokizito/Love

Love is a paradoxical emotion:

Love in it self, I have come to perceive it as a very diverse emotion - state of mind, differing depending to whom it is directed. In the context of intimacies, however, love, romantic love becomes paradoxical. With all its ecstasies, love is not always the easy delightful experience that we imagine. It can be very challenging, making the lovers vulnerable, especially when it becomes an obsession.

Love demands of the lovers innumerable adjustments, temperance and self control, loyalty, such unwavering courage, cooperation and tolerance of the highest degree. In its truest form or even in its disguised form, love brings with it a lot of joy, proud ness and safety; conversely the pain resulting from any of its bitter fruits can be quite intense.

Personally I couldn’t imagine the kind of joy until when I met Yvonne; neither could I envisage the pain before she alienated me, despite the fact that our meeting was more of an accident.

On one fine Sunday just after my routine jogging and swimming, I noticed a good looking lady clad in a sky blue bikini, dark sun gaggles over her fore head, lying down on bare sand, basking and reading a book. At first I ignored her, but for a fraction of a minute and when I could not hold it any longer, I sluggishly stood up and hastily moved to her. Still pondering on words to introduce myself, I noticed that she was reading a book by Dr. Ben Curson, “The Gifted Hands”, I had got the starting point. When I reached where she was, I heavily sat myself down besides her like we had been acquaintances for some time. I did not give her time to react. I uttered out, “Hi, how is Dr. Curson’s Gifted Hands?” She sat up, glanced at the cover of her book for moment, smiled and returned my greetings then inquired how I had known the book she was reading.

I smiled back and lied: “I read bits of the book, but unfortunately the owner took it away before I could finish with it.” Before she could say anything I introduced myself only as Galiwango, claiming that I preferred my surname to my babyish first name. She laughed, introduced herself as Yvonne, saying that she prefers her first name and requested to know the “babyish name.” I promised to tell her the name one day when the time and place are favourable. With my new pal we talked a lot about so many things before we changed to the details of where we were going to school, where each of us stayed, about our respective families and about the cousins and the friends she had come with. We talked a lot more about other trivial issues and to passersby we appeared to have known each other for ages.

At last we had to bid each other good bye and part and it was her time to thank me for the kindness, company and time and to ask for what I had forgotten to ask for- the telephone number. We exchanged contacts and parted, looking forward for more fun in the times to follow. All the way to home I was contemplating on how best I will have to continue in the relationship with my new found friend. On the other hand I was wondering from which source I had gathered the courage to talk to Yvonne for every friend had previously labeled me a shy guy who will never get a girl friend unaided. I had done it and it was quite an experience. From then on I have actually come to believe that where will and of course love are, a way exists. Every normal mature male, I guess can tell what a nice day it was for me.

Days, months and eventually years that followed, I and Yvonne journeyed through paradise. We learnt to tolerate one another’s weaknesses and courageously stipulated what otherwise we wouldn’t dare reveal. We exchanged gifts, wrote letters to and emailed one another, and called each other almost daily. It became more fun when we got to be known and even accepted in each others families. I would freely visit Yvonne and so she would me. We spent a lot of time together, dated and went dancing, we moved places at ease. I became very obsessed with this girl and so she also appeared to be fanatically in love with me. In the eyes of others, our mutual understanding was so strong that our love was like a dance where we took our steps rhythmically in unison according to the tune. Every one of our friends envied us, for everything seemed to be perfect with I and Yvonne. We disclosed to each other too much to mention of our inner feelings, sentiments hidden to the ocular world all in the name of love and trust in each other.

However, like I have already mentioned, the contradictions where love is, inevitably exist and pain as well, especially when one begins feeling insecure in the absence of the special privileges of being affirmed, being treasured and being cared for. The pain of being misunderstood, the agony of falsely or even rightly citing cheating, exploitation, selfishness, and separation when it becomes inevitable can also be quite severe. I and Yvonne meandered out of our paradise jokingly when she found a love message on one of her female friends’ cell phone from my phone. Because this friend had actually openly envied our relationship, Yvonne felt betrayed by the two of us; she was shocked beyond description and could not listen to what she termed lame excuses from me. She was in tears every when she saw the traitor in me, getting more infuriated by the tick of the clock. Whatever explanation was insufficient to convince Yvonne if not rubbished. I was also dumbfounded for I had no knowledge of whatever she was talking about. Theories crossed my mind in the attempt to figure out the exact cause of her actions. I actually concluded that it was her phony accusations to dump me for some one her preference. Things became worse when she started to rejuvenate past occurrences where she has been very tolerant. Our relationship had crumbled beyond repair. I concluded that ours was lust but not love! Yet on the other end she was also busy trying to work out the reasons I was conducting myself in such barbaric ways. Our relationship had hit a dead rock!

However, upon investigation, a friend, Claude, had used my phone to send a massage to the other girl, innocently not visualizing the consequences. I was falsely accused of selfishness! When I got over the reality of losing my only intimately loved girl friend and started thinking straight and objectively, I realized that entering into a relationship, any kind, but especially romantic love, it should be slow, gradual, but a continuous process which necessitates commitment, honest, meekness and trust. Otherwise no deep real and lasting love will be experienced. For the new comers in the field of love, first impressions are lasting, thus should be handled carefully.

It has been long since Yvonne and I separated but at times I find myself thinking that if we were meant to be our roads will one time cross again. When I recall what she made me go through when we broke up, I develop the greatest hatred towards her, but then when I remember what happiness she brought me when we met I only wish I can win her back. Loving the person I hate! I find love paradoxical.