User:Genderedjustice/Bernette Joshua Johnson/Literally Legally Blonde Peer Review

General info
GenderedJustice - Bernette Joshua Johnson
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:Bernette Joshua Johnson
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Bernette Joshua Johnson (I think that the main article is where all the information has been added, not the sandbox).

The Lead
The Lead is concise and correctly gives an overview of the subject. Could maybe add quickly who appointed her/how she got on the bench. Grammar-- delete the comma after who and combine the last separated sentence into the first one so it reads as "New Orleans who served as the first African American Chief Justice of the Louisiana Supreme Court from 2013 until 2020."

The Content
The Content of the main sections is good. Some grammar mistakes with comma placement (overusing commas where they are not needed). Divide up her career into other sections. Either make sub-headings beneath the career or just separate the content into different headings. The sentence about her running unsuccessfully for the circuit court of appeal feels out of place; I would recommend stringing it in with more information somewhere else.

Tone/Balance
I think the tone is very neutral. I would restructure the part about her federal suit about seniority to become the chief justice in a different section because it feels too heavy for her career. It needs to be broken up. At the bottom, there is a two sentence little conclusion, but it reads awkwardly. Needs to be an introduction or deleted.

Overall Opinion
I would say that this article is a good start. It could definitely use some improvement in the writing and structure. The content feels a little sparse. There needs to be more headings that divide up the information into sections.