User:Gilerman/Neonatal resuscitation/B12Braggart Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Gilerman


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Gilerman/Neonatal_resuscitation (current version w/ authorship)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Neonatal resuscitation

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
 * The lead initially included outcomes that has now been expanded upon with the new content added by Gilerman. However, the lead has not been updated to include the new content of training and/or certification for neonatal resuscitation.
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
 * Yes. However, I found the lead to be somewhat lengthy in some areas toeing the line of run-on sentences. Below are edits in bold I would make to make the lead more concise:
 * "Neonatal resuscitation, also known as newborn resuscitation, is an emergency procedure focused on supporting the approximately 10% of newborn children who do not readily begin breathing, putting them at risk of irreversible organ injury and death. Through positive airway pressure, and in severe cases chest compressions, medical personnel can often stimulate neonates to begin breathing on their own, with attendant normalization of heart rate.  About a quarter of all neonatal deaths globally are caused by birth asphyxia. This dangerous condition of oxygen deprivation may begin before birth. For example, if the umbilical cord, which supplies oxygen throughout fetal development, is compressed or tears during delivery. Depending on how quickly and successfully the infant is resuscitated, hypoxic damage can occur to most of the infant's organs (heart, lungs, liver, gut, kidneys). One serious complication is a brain injury known as neonatal hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy."
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
 * No. The lead lacks description that one can be certified/trained to resuscitate neonates. Below is my edit in bold to include this content in the lead:
 * "Through positive airway pressure, and in severe cases chest compressions, medical personnel certified in neonatal resuscitation can often stimulate neonates to begin breathing on their own, with attendant normalization of heart rate."
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?
 * The lead is slightly overly detailed. I would consider breaking the lead like below and placing the bottom statement in another section or rephrasing the bottom, bulleted statement in a more concise fashion and then leave it in the lead.
 * "Neonatal resuscitation, also known as newborn resuscitation, is an emergency procedure focused on supporting the approximately 10% of newborn children who do not readily begin breathing, putting them at risk of irreversible organ injury and death. Through positive airway pressure, and in severe cases chest compressions, medical personnel can often stimulate neonates to begin breathing on their own, with attendant normalization of heart rate."
 * "About a quarter of all neonatal deaths globally are caused by birth asphyxia. This dangerous condition of oxygen deprivation may begin before birth, for example if the umbilical cord, which supplies oxygen throughout fetal development, is compressed or tears during delivery. Depending on how quickly and successfully the infant is resuscitated, hypoxic damage can occur to most of the infant's organs (heart, lungs, liver, gut, kidneys). One serious complication is a brain injury known as neonatal hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy."

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral?
 * Training and Certification
 * It appears that the writer is slightly biased towards the Neonatal Resuscitation Program (NRP) based on some verbiage "most widely known"
 * In addition, the opposing certification, Pediatric Advanced Life Support (PALS), lacks certification details as compared to NRP
 * I thought you did a great job balancing the "Gold Standard" paragraph by listing a study that found no significance!
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
 * NRP feels slightly overrepresented compared to PALS
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor o one position or away from another?
 * No it does not!

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
 * Yes, the article is more complete overall!
 * Another project to make this article more complete would include adding/expanding on the major causes of neonatal resuscitation
 * What are the strengths of the content added?
 * The content is neutral and helpful to the reader
 * Sourced wonderfully with hyperlinks at appropriate places
 * Used non-medical jargon that can be interpreted easily
 * Avoids providing too much detail
 * How can the content added be improved?
 * I would recommend using a table or flowchart graphic to describe the following to make this information more clear as opposed to listing it:
 * Initial evaluation of a newborn is done by obtaining an Apgar score, which gives the clinician a rough idea of the infants cardiovascular and neurologic condition atbirth. A score of 7-10 at 5 minutes is normal, a score of 4 to 6 at 5 minutes is intermediate, and a score of 0-3 is considered low. It is important to understand thatan Apgar score is not a diagnosis, it is merely a clinical finding. If a newborns score is 0-3, then resuscitation efforts are initiated.

General Edit Recommendations

 * "Neonatal Resuscitation Program - Started by the American Academy of Pediatrics, this course has been revised several times and is currently offered to anyone who participates in neonatal resuscitation including but not limited to: Nurses,Physicians, Respiratory Therapists, Certified Nursing Assistants, and others. The course is broken down into contains 11 sections and a final skills assessment. There arecurrently 4 million healthcare providers that are certified. It is estimated that roughly (redundant) 200,000 healthcare providers take this course every year."
 * I felt the first line was worded awkwardly.
 * "In 2020, the International Liaison Committee on Resuscitation (ILCOR) published its 4th and most recent recommendations for newborn life support. The committee reviewed 8 major topics, including anticipation and preparation, initial assessment and intervention, physiologic monitoring and feedback devices, ventilation and oxygenation, circulatory support, drug and fluid administration, prognostication during CPR, and post-resuscitation care."
 * The 8 major topics described here could be done as bullets instead of a list
 * "Initial evaluation of a newborn is done by obtaining an Apgar score, which gives the clinician a rough idea of the infants cardiovascular and neurologic condition at birth."
 * I would avoid the idiom "rough idea" and use something like an approximation
 * What are the normal guidelines and how do they differ from 2020?
 * "Most neonatal deaths (roughly 75%) after resuscitation occur within the first week, but the vast majority occur within 24 hours"
 * Avoid roughly