User:Giselleam317/Equity feminism/Madison.palos Peer Review

There was nothing to edit

Madison Palos

10/16/2022

Lead
When looking at the sandbox, it is clear that the content is about Equity Feminism, and when reading the opening sentence, it clearly describes what the articles topic is about. Gives a clear, precise, definition about how equity feminism is a form of liberal feminism, and gives a good background of where it originated from. When looking at the end of the first paragraph, it gives multiple examples of other kinds of feminism, however does not give the articles major sections. I would add the articles major sections in the sandbox even if you did not edit them. Just write the header and bold it. The lead includes new information that is beneficial to the article, and was not previously used. The Lead is concise, and straight to the point.

Content
The content is relevant to Equity feminism, and from reading the references, the most up-to-date reference is in the year 2022. There is no content missing, however I would maybe incorporate the Equal Rights Amendment definition up two paragraphs where you first mentioned the amendment. Might make it flow better, and would be easier for the reader. The article does deal address topics that were significant historically such as the Equal Rights Amendment. Would add more that represent underrepresented populations.

Tone and Balance
The last paragraph in the sandbox can come off as not neutral, and might be biased, for example in the second sentence : "The battle for equity becomes political as many argue women and other groups who are considered oppressed are denied the same opportunities of cis-gender white males". Maybe would not use the word 'argue' as it can come off giving other individuals perspective. I do not believe that the viewpoints are over or underrepresented, however it might be best to reword a couple of sentences in the last paragraph. The content can persuade readers to fall one way when looking as the comparison of men and women.

Sources and References
When looking at all the sources, every one of them was considered a secondary source. I clicked on the link, and make sure they all worked, which they did. However, when looking in the sandbox, I do not see any citations used within the article, and can not refer back to the resources. Therefore, I can not tell which lines are supposed to be from the sources. The sources do a good job of covering the topic of Equity feminism, and are very thorough. The sources are current with the most recent one being from 2022, and the latest one being written in 2019. The authors could have been a little more diverse. The Forbes website had no authors when looking at the website, and the other sources had around two authors. If you are in need of new sources to add to your research, I highly recommend looking into OneSearch. It is through the Fullerton Pollak library database search.

Organization
The content added is well-written, and it clear to read. Throughout the article, it is concise and well written however I would look over the quotes. I am not sure if we are supposed to use in-text citations within our articles. Also make sure, you use the "cite" button on the top of the page to cite your quotes. The major points of the topic are touched on, and are very distinctive. I would break down your work into sections however, to make it easier to follow.

Images and Media
There are no images posted in the sandbox, however when going to the article, there is one posted. The one image is clear, and well captioned. Talks about the equality of rights shall not be denied which is posted on a pin. I would try to incorporate one or two more photos within the article. This one photo already posted to the article does adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations. It is visually appealing as it is right next to the United States section.

Overall Impressions
The overall content added to this article is very useful and overall adds depth to the original article. One thing that could use some improving would be to organize the sections within your articles, and quotes needing to be cited correctly. The strengths of your article are the recent most up to date resources added, and the expansion of the Equal Rights Amendment.

Peer-Review posted late due to late submission of author

10/21/2022

10/16/2022

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)