User:Gisselle Islas/Marie Louise Bottineau Baldwin/Cmaldonado2000 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Gisselle Islas)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Gisselle%20Islas/Marie_Louise_Bottineau_Baldwin?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Marie Louise Bottineau Baldwin

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article does a good job of chronologically dating major life events in Baldwin's life. The lead section was easy to understand and does a good job of summarizing the main ideas about the article. Also, since the leading section also has a quote it is standing by its self. Perhaps adding an introductory phrase and then ending with the quote would be best to understand who wrote the quote and why it could not have been paraphrased.

In the section about "Native American Advocacy" where the writer includes the following "part in a delegation to President Woodrow Wilson..." reword the sentence to clarity. Also in the same section reword the following sentence: "Baldwin strives to educate and help rid of the 'Squaw drudge'. Rid sounds out of place.

In the section of "Public Persona" delete the space between "her culture preserve..."

Lastly, in the section of "Death and Legacy" reword the sentence "In a Marie...scholarship..."

The article remains unbias and presents the overall chronological events of Baldwin well.