User:Glennh2oboy/Glenn Bruce Lee Majors Waterman III Esquire

Glenn Bruce Lee Majors Waterman III was born in Vatican City on the fourth of July 1928 and again on Christmas day that same year. In 1930, just before his 2nd birthday, he built a raft out of pizza boxes and set sail for America. The raft did not hold up and was all but destroyed before it made its way out of the Mediteranian Sea. Waterman did not turn back however and just swam the rest of the way. He became an American citizen 3 weeks later when he arrived at Ellis Island, New York. After arriving, Waterman took a job at a Factory where he was quickly noticed for his hard work. The foreman quickly realized that Waterman could do the work of literally thousands of workers by himself. This is when the depression of the era officially was labeled the Great Depression. In 1940, at the age of 12, Waterman enlisted in the Navy and was commisioned in the Army. During his 3 years of service, Waterman recieved four medals of honor, thirty six purple hearts and had over ten thousand confirmed kills. The first purple heart medal came after he took two seperate howitzer rounds to each eye. The injury momentarily took him out of the fight, but Waterman was determined and was back in action six hours later. Waterman quickly gained the admiration of his piers and a great deal of fear from his enemies. Cospiracy Theorists believe that he was the real "trigger puller" involved with the death of Adolf Hitler. He was officially retired after 4 years of service. His combat tours took him to France, Belgium, England, Germany, the Phillipines and Japan. Sometimes he was in two or three of the countries at the same time. Today, at the age of 82, Waterman spends most of his time working as a muscle magazine model, making appearences as the official spokesperson for Dos Equis Beer and spending time with his seventeen thousand grand/greatgrand children.

Among his foremention accomplshments, Waterman is also known for: Rushing for three thousand yards and 46 touchdowns in his rookie season for the Chicago Bears. Winning the Miss USA peagent (two time winner). Won the Nobel Peace Prize for inventing carbonated KoolAid. While playing in the 1988 World Cup, he scored a goal that was so spectacular, his team was awarded two points for it. His drinking buddy, President Teddy Rooselvelt dubbed him, the most awesome person ever. Waterman is in the guiness book of World records for being the first person to time travel and to travel at the speed of light.