User:Gmarinello19/William Grimes (ex-slave)/Ccthehorsie Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Gmarinello19


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * x


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * x

Evaluate the drafted changes
Needs a lot more editing.

Only a total of about three sentences added.

Where it says "They had eighteen children together. Only twelve survived." I would merge that into one sentence. For instance, "They had eighteen children together, only twelve survived."

Good job in creating links.

Instead of "However, he mentions that only his youngest child is still with him and does not know where any other child of his is. " I would say "However, he mentioned that only his youngest child was still with him and did not know where his other children were." changing the tense to past tense, since it's a historical topic, and also making the sentence less wordy.

It is hard to say much more because the article has not had a lot added to it.

You could add a lot more to the bibliography.