User:Gnemzow

Gabe's Philosophy
Gabriel Charles Avigdor Betzalel Wiesel Weingrod Nezmow III is an individual who is committed to the dismemberment of information, as per his own unfunny sense of humor. All changes that he makes are guaranteed to be mostly lackadasical in fact checking and more suitable to Uncyclopedia. Beware, he may insert sarcasm, but you will probably not get it, or find it funny.

Gabe Nezmow tries to be politically correct and takes many factors into consideration prior to editing. If an error is detected, please inform him, cause he is stubborn and will undo any 'unediting' that is done by other users.

Gabe's Belief
Gabe is single, so if you are male, athiest, and cute Living in South Florida or Boston Area 4) intelligent 5) possessing etiquette and capable of eating chinese food 6) nice, please contact Gabe.

To contact Gnemzow, find him on Facebook at Gabe WN

P.S. Gabriel detests all emoticons. If you leave any he will release MARK JACOBS on you. P.S.S Gabriel is in college--brandeis U, Pomerantz 109 male, athiest, and cute

The Classifieds (think Newspaper)
Eva Ying/Yang is a chic Asian looking for either a male or female asian to passionately make little asians. Suffers from asian glow (easy to get drunk...no need for date rape drugs). She is an A-cup. but is willing to get enlargements to C-cup. Look for her on J-Date....she is very jewish.....orthodox!!

Jackie is a cute, auburned haired, hazel eyed, promiscuous brandeis jew-chick. At 5'4", she is the perfect size for anyone. She is smarter than you, so let her do all the talking.  She is funny, and tends to make nick-names for everyone.  Brianna decided to no longer be shomer.  Brianna is Jewish, cute, funny, 5' 2", red/orange hair, eats 2 slices of pizza  and gets drunk easily = cheap bar tabssweet!!. She lives in NJ, and has car. She needs a boyfriend!!! Volunteers please call 954-287-0023. Will pay $17 per hour. Contact her soon....she is hot and going fast!!!

Travis 'Jewmongous' Chui is a weightlifting monstrousity spawned in a chinese restuarant. His mother is a chicken dumpling and his father is crab rangoon. Travis is still trying to learn about the Kosher Symbols and thinks the Registered Trademark is a symbol of the Orthodox Union. He currently rooms with Ashraf "sexyman" Hussein, but is looking for another roommate who actually has two X chromosomes.

Debra Chemama is trying to hook up with every gay guy at Brandeis. To contribute to the Debra Fund, send donations to MB 3626, 415 South Street, Waltham MA

Carrie Watkins, like her distant British relative, is very inquisitive and is will to try anything (except for meatvegetarianism is her thing).

Gabe's Current Status
As of now, Gabriel is studying in Brandeis University, in Waltham, Massachusetts. It should be noted, though, that Brandeis University is slated to be dismantled and auctioned off for money in 2010, so Gabe is looking for a new home. If you are his parents, please wire him more money. If you are the credit card company, Gabe has no money. If you are a hott chick, then you should probably go for a real man.

Crew!
Gabriel is currently rowing for Brandeis Crew. He is a member of the novice men's heavyweight boat " 'cause he is so awesome" (Travis). His boat is ranked first in NECRL (New England Collegiate Rowing League) Championships, and has the bling to prove it.