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J'Quavion Demitrius Bingleton III

J'Quavion Demitrius Bingleton III was a really intelligent fictional scientist in Antartica who worked on top secret government findings. J'Quavion is also credited to inventing chili flavored anal lube, 3 foot long dildos, and rectal prolapse medication. He also started the revolution of '97 in Bolivia.

Birth and Childhood
J'Quavion was born in Detroit, Michigan on June 9, 1969. When he was born, his father was high on magic mushrooms, which caused him to run into the street, thinking he was an eldrich being from Travis Scott's Astro World, instantly killing him. J'Quavion lived his entire childhood without a father, which made him do stupid things like shoving lit matches up his urethra when he was 4 years old. When he was 17, he had already killed 6 people in a grease fire at a local burger joint referred to the locals as Big Almas Burger Joint. When he graduated high school, he spat in his principal's eyes, causing the principal to go into cardiac arrest and start levitating.

College and Voyage
He went to college at L.A. Trade Tech, where he learned how to cook crystal methamphetamine professionally. While he was looking into Mongolian GDP off the coast of South Africa, he was attacked by a Portuguese manatee accompanied by a squad of tech extremists and Zara employees. They killed 17 of his men. His boat titled "What Has 96 Teeth and Holds a Monster? (My Zipper)" drifted all the way to Antartica from there due to lack of fuel and infestation of tiny quokkas. Only 6 of his other crewmates survived the attack. On the boat, while attempting to make makeshift fuel, he made his world-famous chili flavored anal lube out of just a box of scraps.

Life in Antartica
When he arrived, he was dazed and confused alongside his other crewmates. Not 4 hours later, an ice churning meat worm devoured 3 of his crewmates, only to be exploded by a magma harpoon spell conjured by Bingleton himself. This encounter inspired him to write his bestselling novella, Timmy and Friends Face the Meat Worm. After travelling across the solace wastes for 76 days, only surviving off crumbly nutrigrain bars, he came across an abandoned nuclear missile silo. He made that his home alongside his gay lover, Jimmy Donldson. After doing research in the missile silo for 12 years, he built a makeshift hang glider, allowing him to travel 61 kilometers to the nearest Wifi signal to call for help. He was rescued by Yemeni special forces and was taken back to Bolivia, where he joined a street gang called "El Pollos Cocidos", which participated in the cocaine trade.

Involvement in the Revolution of '97
The Bolivian street gang called the "El Pollos Cocidos" rebelled against the Bolivian government and seized the capital of Bolivia and renamed it to Salty Springs. It was then taken back a day later by the Bolivian military. After that, the voices in J'Quavion's head beckoned him to return to Antartica to fulfill the prophecy.

Death
While in Antartica, he received news of his husband's death. In his grief, he went into a blind rage, slaughtering his entire gang that he had recruited to return with him. Left alone in the solace wastes, he couldn't help but laugh as the thundering footsteps grew closer, and the darkness consumed him. His body was never fully assembled back together.

Legacy
J'Quavion was never really bright, but his legacy lives on through his niece, Shaquiva Bingleton. His various contributions to the field of medicine, including rectal prolapse medication and a supercharged version of viagara still help save people every day. In his autobiography, he says the very inspiring words, ″Vlorag, Kumaltoptocum,″ which translated into English mean, ″I have never lived enough to flop my meat on a George Foreman grill.″ This quote can have  many meanings, but the interpretation is up to the reader.