User:Gracelizz/Lipsum

Novocaine Snake
Akigistrodon torpeo, more commonly known as the "Novocaine snake," is a surprisingly little-known venomous pitviper found only in the northeastern United States, mainly in the area of Massachusetts. Although not officially discovered and named until the twenty-first century, this snake has been around since before the arrival of religious pilgrims on the Mayflower, when its existence was first recorded in a child's diary.

Description
Novocaine snakes are the smallest of the genus Akigistrodon. Reportedly they can be as short as 10 inches. It is speculated that they are most closely related to the copperhead (Akigistrodon contortrix) and share many of the same characteristics. Except for size and coloring, they are almost identical. The Novocaine snake has a reddish-purple hue, with a darker red banding pattern.

Common names
Novocaine snake, Novocaine viper, numbing viper, wet-mouthed viper.

Behavior
The diet of a Novocaine snake is varied, ranging from small insects to the occasional not-so-small insect. Novocaine snakes are recognizable mainly by their odd behavior. Wherever they go, they leave a trail of saliva. It is speculated that this occurs because they are not entirely immune to their own venom, and as a result cannot feel when their mouths are slightly open. Novocaine snakes are benign creatures and rarely attack humans. It is unclear what provokes the few attacks that occur. They salivate more when frightened, but do not bite at such times, and when eating they seem to take a sadistic pleasure in avoiding the injection of venom into their prey. Scientists continue to be puzzled by this inscrutable use of the snake's power.

Venom
Unlike any other member of its genus, Akigistrodon torpeo's venom is relatively harmless. Today a chemical imitation of it is used as a local anesthetic. This imitation is the source of the snake's most common nickname. Historically, Native Americans caught these snakes and provoked them to bite a painful area on a person's body. Although this technique is still effective today, many people prefer to simply use Novocaine in the form of an injection due to fear of snakes or the risk of contracting an infection from its ever-present saliva.

Controversy
Because of the lack of research on this snake, and the unfortunate, mysterious destruction of all documents related to its existence, many people believe that the existence of the Novocaine snake is a myth. However, this is not the case, as any member of the religious cult "The Church of the Wet-Mouthed Viper" will be only too happy to point out. This religion is, for the most part, as benign as the snake it reveres, although some extremist followers have committed acts of terrorism against dental practices in protest of what they perceive to be a degradation of the snake's holy status.