User:Graham clyne/Ice-sheet model/MGava01 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Graham Clyne


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Graham%20clyne/Ice-sheet_model?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template#seaRISE


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ice-sheet model

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall great article, a little technical and probably not fully understandable by someone without formal training in the subject. Flow of the article was good, I didn't feel like I was missing anything and got a full overview. Mostly just had some grammer suggestions. My comments are organized by section with the bold words being my comment on the part of your article copy pasted above it.

History
Beginning in the mid-18th Century, investigation into ice sheet behavior began. Since the Journal of Glaciology's founding, physicists have been publishing glacial mechanics.

Weird wording, maybe "publishing (material/papers/something like that) on glacial mechanics"

When the second IPCC assessment report came out in 1996, the beginning of both 2D and 3D modelling was shown with ice sheets

Also strange wording, maybe ", it contained some of the first 2D and 3D models of ice sheets"

comparing most models of Greenland, Antarctic, ice-shelf, thermomechanical and grounding-line.

'''I would say Antarctica or the Antarctic glacier here instead of just Antarctic. As Antarctic means from Antarctica.'''

The project allowed for both improvement in numerical and physical approaches to ice sheets.

This seems weird too, maybe say something like to ice sheet modeling or monitoring, saying just "to ice sheets" seems awkward.

Modeling
Ice sheets interact with the surrounding atmosphere, ocean and sub-glacial earth, and need to be included into a model.

This part leaves me unsure about whether you are saying the ice sheets need to be included in climate models or the other components need to be added to ice sheet models

Basal Conditions play an important role in determining behavior of ice sheets.

I believe it would be "determining THE behavior of ice sheets"

Precipitation is directly tied to air temperature, and also depends on moisture above and around the ice sheet

Don't really explain what the interaction between precipiation and ice sheets are, and how they contribute to ice sheet melting or accumulation

the recent development of the concepts of Marine Ice Sheet Instability and Marine Ice Cliff Instability have contributed to more accurate ice-sheet calving processes

I would say "more accurate results of"

Examples
seaRISE heading

Seems to have the wrong subheading level applied