User:GrantR79/Kijo (folklore)/Sdp543 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

GrantR79


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:GrantR79/Kijo_(folklore)?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kijo (folklore)

Evaluate the drafted changes
There is nothing posted on neither his bibliography page or his sandbox draft, so his version of the article is neither good or bad because I have nothing to review.

Suggestions for further editing: Upon reading the few paragraphs the Wiki had to offer, there isn't much information I got out of the current Kijo page. I am still unclear as to what a Kijo is (the article explains it as an Oni, but what is an Oni and what exactly differentiates the Kijo from the Oni?) The article also starts off with the word "they." I know what the article is about, so I know what they refers too, but it alludes to poorly written language throughout the article which I stumbled across as well. It would be a good idea for any future editors to change up the language to make it sound more academic. The article is not a one stop shop for anyone who wants to learn about the Kijo, and as the article stands right now I'd reckon it needs a lot more work for anyone who isn't familiar with Japanese mythology to even have a chance at discerning what is going on. Hopefully this gets you started on what needs to be addressed in the current article.