User:Graymornings/Somebody's bored at work

Somebody's bored in class
The human brain and the English language are so wonderful that anyone can put two or three words together and create something new. However, it has to catch on with other people before WP can take notice. Whenever I'm patrolling newly-created pages, I obviously run across tons of articles that were apparently created by bored seventh-graders in the computer lab at school, usually containing such timeless wit as "CALEB SMITH RULEZ!!!!!" or "mrs wengstrom is a fatty." I sigh, shake my head, tag them with CSD templates, and think: "Somebody's bored in class." No big deal. Kids do this stuff, it gets deleted, life goes on.

Or perhaps not
And then I come across pages that are obviously written by someone over the age of eighteen. An article about someone's band, their friend, their company, or maybe themselves. Sometimes these are poorly written, sometimes not. Sometimes they're advertisement, sometimes they're nonsense, sometimes they're just crap. Sometimes they're about a word they made up one day, or a religion they started. Maybe they woke up that day and thought: "Hey, I'm a pretty cool guy. I should have a Wikipedia page about me. After all, I'm the [founder of Delusioventualism, coiner of the word heterobogosity, maker of many YouTube videos, inventor of a novel sexual position involving countless ropes and pulleys, second cousin of Elvis's wife's manicurist, owner of a rather fine horse]."

I see these pages and I think: "Uh-oh. Somebody's bored at work."

Somebody's bored at work
I honestly don't mind when kids create pages about themselves or their friends. All kids get bored. I'm sure that if Wikipedia had been around when I was a nine-year-old, I would have created tons of content specifically designed to annoy my little brother, littering Wikipedia with "JOEY IS A DORKUS!!!!" for admins to clean up. Childhood is a time of experimentation. Be understanding.

When you become an adult, though, it's a little different. People suddenly don't seem as forgiving. You can't make the same mistakes that you did as a child. The world, at times, seems to bear down on you. You get restless. You feel, perhaps, that you haven't accomplished enough in life. Perhaps creating a Wikipedia page about yourself is the answer. Perhaps this will add legitimacy to your accomplishments. Or perhaps you can simply take out your anger, frustration, and boredom on Wikipedia. Perhaps you can create a page about how your boss sodomizes giraffes. Perhaps you can make yourself an internet celebrity by posting an article on a meme you invented. The possibilities are endless...aren't they?

I say, my good man, you really should know better than that
Don't do it. It's not worth it. Not only will you be adding to the trials and tribulations of many fine editors and condemning yourself to the lowest reaches of Wiki-hell, you'll also suffer the crushing disappointment that comes when your page invariably gets deleted. You will think, "Why? Why am I not worthy of Wikipedia? Can't anyone create an article?" You will suffer. You will mourn. You will feel small.

It's a natural, understandable response. People whose articles get deleted obviously feel a bit of resentment, especially if they worked hard on the article and put in time and effort. If the article is about themselves, their friend, or a topic close to their heart, they may feel an emotional attachment to the content. Even if it's just a nonsense article, there's still that "Heyyyyyy...my page!" feeling.

The fact remains, though, that you're still an adult. Sadly, certain cultural norms are placed on you for a reason, and it is your obligation—nay, your duty—to shoulder them without complaint. The fact remains that you must move on, accept the burden of your adulthood, and not try to delay the cruel inevitable. If you have a shred of dignity about you, you should not waste it by flailing away against the CSD/PROD/AfD, writing belligerent messages on the talk pages of other editors, or feebly trying to recreate content that gets deleted. Sit down, have some tea, and think about what you have accomplished just by being able to afford a computer. Learn from it and think about how you might better contribute to the site.

But this doesn't relieve you of your main responsibility as a grownup: namely, to know better!

 Graymornings (talk) understands. He is often bored at work.