User:Greenstache

Greetings!
Welcome to my greatest web page! Sometimes, people are calling me "the greatest guy in the world", and I am tending to agree with them. Did you know, sometimes I win every race or challenge or thing that I do? Very impressive! Yes I am. Feel at home when you are looking at this, my greatest web page that I have created! Indeed, how many can be saying that they have surmounted as many mounts as I have in my entire first life? Not my friend! Maybe Watcha? Perhaps. But that is another time for a story. Immediately, I was telling you how good I was at making this web page, the greatest web page in my making. You are impressed, no doubt intentionally. Many people have told me: "You are an impressive guy, and you have created a most impressive web page!" And then I am replying to them: "Yes, I am thanking you for recognizing my impression that I make on others! It is a good one!" But then they are saying back to me: "Is it impossible that you can become even more impressive than now? Perhaps you are an Impressionist?!" And I am looking at them knowingly with a twinkle in my left eye, saying straight to between their nose and upper lip: "I am such." And I walk away and leave them with mouth agape.

More
Thanks are to you for continuing to enjoy my most famous and well-renowned web page! Goodness, how many times can one enjoy my web page in a lifetime?! The answer is obviously infinity. That means "very many", if you were not already aware of knowing this word that I told you only a few seconds ago. Hey, look, I am up here! Now, I am down here! Can you still find me? Ouch! I am cut in half! Don't worry, I am not really cut in half. I do not often cut myself in half, but it has happened before. But it did not happen right now. Now, watch as I magically create a salami sandwich!

Or, maybe it was bologna. Or mayonnaise.

Of Greatest Importance
It is of greatest importance that all life-forms read this next message I am about to digress upon (that is why it is called "Of Greatest Importance," in case anyone was wondering, STEVEN). Hence, I will now reveal one of my most fruitful and frugally kept secrets of all of my intention. Furthermore, it has come to my attention that my mouth was about to reveal to all one of my most treasured and luxurious secrets of all creation. Therefore, all will be well pleased to listen to my next words that are actually going to escape from my throat: "No chance in all of time." Oh well. Maybe next time. Until that further time, continue to enjoy my fabulous web page that I have created selflessly for the betterment of all others, all by myself.

Tentative Attention
I have formally requested the tentative attention of the viewer of my greatest web page (i.e. this web page) at this specific period of time that is occurring right at this particular moment in time that is immediately taking place right now. Furthermore, now that I have effectively grasped the interest of every one of my current viewers, I would like to expound on the favorite topic of my choosing for a short period of time that will only require the tentative attention of those who are reading this. Well... It is difficult to begin. When one possesses the knowledge that one's words are being most carefully and scrupulously scrutinized by all of one's most favorite persons, one has a very trying time deciding how one should begin the speaking one was determined to begin presently. Now, hold a moment! Who is this "one"? And why should it be "one"? What if it were to be "two"? One should think on that for a time. And now, I am finished, and formally revoke the attention of all of those faithful readers who continue to read and enjoy the greatest web page I have created in the entire time of my life.