User:Group IV

NOTE
Every detail which you are about to read was a means to the completion of an assignment for a group of students analyzing the Wikipedia encyclopedia. All facts and allegations concerning public figures are false and should not be taken seriously. This page is being used for educational purposes.

Group IV
Group IV was assembled on the 27th of February in 2012. They did not know when they entered their Computer Science class that morning that their fates would be irrevocably intertwined. Nevertheless, their lots were thrown in together, and their fates were sealed.

Their mission? To study and archive information regarding the public encyclopedia formally known as "Wikipedia.org". That day, they came to an agreement, setting deadlines for their tasks. Having met none of them on March 28th, they proceeded to end their procrastination and to build this very article. Lo and behold, ye shrews, thy reckoning hath cometh.

Genesis
On February 27th, 2012, the 10:30 Am Computer Science class at Elmhurst College was issued a singe assignment. Their assignment, should they choose to accept it, was to research a single facet of the electronic world and to produce a presentation pertaining to their findings. Using their keen reasoning skills, Group IV (the last of the four groups formed that day) elected to accept the given assignment in favor of not failing the class miserably and painfully.

After careful thought and serious consideration (which ran its course over the extended period of seven minutes and forty-three seconds), the group nominated Internet-based encyclopedia "Wikipedia" as the subject of their investigation. Dividing the tasks amongst themselves, the group began to search for information like Harrison Ford searches for his family.

Six men, one goal, extraordinary and copious amounts of procrastination, lacking amounts of caffeinated beverages, a small animal named Reggie and the fourth President of the United States of my crayon box: This would surely prove to be an interesting endeavor.

The Members
The Members of Group IV, before they passed into the gleaming Halls of Val'roth, asked that their memory be ever commemorated, and that a memorial be erected to prevent the forgetting of that which must always be remembered, in remembrance of the Group IV Members: Memorized. (We apologize if we leave anything out).

Christopher Fürdurgenson was born in 1992 to Artur and Jemima Fürdurgenson. As the child of a Grizzly Bear and a resident of the hills of Tennessee, US, Christopher was a man of mild beginnings and milder pretense. During his early life, a bowling tournament rose amongst the local children, and Christopher took this tournament by storm, defeating all who rose against him. In light of his glorious victory, his mother is quoted saying, "Thats just great."

He hopes to own a business in the future once he completes his studies as a Business Administration major. When asked what market he was interested in pursuing, Chris is quoted to have informed us that, "Greece is west of Italy." This was of major concern to geographers, and the common man alike, for until this point they had been under the impression that Greece was east of Italy.

Luke "The Bronze God" Dolezal was or is believed to have been born on the 23rd day of March, 1992.The circumstances surrounding Luke's birth are rather concerning, and were widely publicized at that time.

In southern Louisiana, a family traveling through a small village discovered it completely abandoned. When this was reported to the authorities the media was quickly on their heels and was soon on the scene.

A Louisiana journalist, who asked to remain anonymous, discovered the location of the towns occupants in an unlabeled, unmarked building. They were all dead, shrouded in robes too soaked with human bodily fluids to register a color. The only living thing left was a single, infant child. It simply lay there, unweeping.

Mike Ellis is, while surely the quietest and most guarded amongst the group, certainly the least understood. Few men alive today can really say that they have breached the deeply rested musings of this man, so well kept from the ever probing gaze of humanity. Men have looked into his face and registered neither emotion nor identity. Women have seen him pass and wondered at the thoughts beneath those eyes whose color they could not really ascertain. Children have heard him speak and have been unsure as to what it is he truly said.

Indeed, Mike Ellis is a man of high and true mystery. Some say he is there, and others say that he is not. Some saw him come, and others saw him go, but no man has the full perspective on Mike Ellis. In fact, perspective is so lacking that it would be far more efficient to say we know nothing of him at all. (We had to be told his name was Mike Ellis).

Stephan Carlson was born on the fourth day of January in the year 1990. Often has his origin been called into question, but each questioning has been fruitless because his origins aren't fond of answering questions.

He studies Music Composition, and plans to pursue a Masters and then a Doctorate upon obtaining it. When asked why he chose music, it is reported that he simply smiled and said, "Music chooses you." When asked to elaborate, Stephan informed us that "the Pheasant is, indeed, yellow." When asked to explain THIS, he had no comment.

It is said that Stephan was born with a conehead, which, photographs possessed by his mother can attest to. It may be that he is then a descendent of Chris Farley, but the validity of this claim cannot be measured because no one has claimed that and its actually a film, rendering such a theory somewhat silly.

When asked how photographs possessed by a mother who we claimed was unknown were part of the record of this member, we simply reminded our skeptics that the bus left at 8:30 and the next one would be arriving shortly as they come in fifteen minute intervals.

Their mission:
To perform an analysis of the internet based encyclopedia, Wikipedia. Each man took a faculty of this analysis. Luke began to compile information concerning the origins of this website, while David studied it's purpose and use. Chris more closely examined the various features of this website and compared it with others, while Mike made astute observations concerning the pros and cons of this website. And Stephan chose to experience the building of a wikipedia page by making this one which you're reading now.

Incidentally, if you're asking yourself why Stephan has been referring to himself with the plural pronoun, we, we can assure you that everything is going to be fine.

Progress
The completion of this page took months, as did their analysis in general. Each man was faced with challenges along the way, each challenge slowing their slow but steady march forward. When asked to elaborate on these impediments, their representative said, "I am the Walrus."

Results
The analysis showed rather interesting results, though the degree of interest generated by these results was not high enough to actually include on this wikipedia page. For more information, please dial 877-Flabberghast. Thank you for calling.