User:Guancong lance li/Chinese Dama/Adambletcher Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Guancong Lance Li


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Guancong lance li/Chinese Dama
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Chinese dama

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Organization

-The section suffers from somewhat poor organization, although there is a general flow, you introduce new topics without a proper introduction, such as the facekini and the switch to discussing social media

-I think your article could really benefit from subheadings such as

-News Coverage of Damas

-Damas in Social Media

-There are some minor clarity issues in your word order, although I don't see it as a major problem

Media

-I think your section could really benefit from some media. For example, include images when talking about facekini's or what a stereotypical dama looks like

-When you're discussing specific youtube videos, i think you could add a link to the videos

When you are talking about news coverage I think you should add more citations.

I think you could also talk about Damas in western media. I believe there is a perception of the Damas and gold hoarding. You talked about this briefly, but I think it could be it's own subheading.

I really liked the number of sources you discuss. As well as the fact that you looked at both mainstream media and social media. Covering an even wider range of media would be a great way to add even more credibility, if that's possible