User:GuyPasq

Guy Pasquill (born 4th June 1994) is an international YouTube sensation, enterprising internet entrepreneur, team leader, devout academic, actor, singer-songwriter and director, and a dirty fucking grass.

He grew up in Bolton, which is definitely not in Manchester, but is maybe in Wigan (ancient historians have yet to agree). Since his early, humble beginnings, Pasquill went on to achieve massive success in everything he did, including creaking the bed really loud and making sea mammal noises.

Early life and education

Pasquill was born on the planet Earth to a pure and virgin human mother, which experts have since interpreted as the second coming of Christ, our Lord and Savior, praised be He. Within days of his birth, Pasquill had already created his first YouTube channel (11 years ahead of the invention of YouTube) and garnered a following of 2 million Ethiopian fans. His insightful and entertaining commentary was subject to critical acclaim, and resulted in Pasquill receiving the Nobel Peace Prize and Olympic Gold Medal for the 100m Freestyle.

His education began in the renowned Bolton Performing Arts Academy, where he developed a deep, burning passion for Physics with Astronomy, but not Astrophysics because he didn't want to do an extra year. After winning his 12th consecutive Oscar for Sound Design (all for repeated remakes of the 1925 Ben Hur silent film), Pasquill attended the University of Liverpool, having turned down scholarships from Harvard and Cambridge and all of those universities.

Controversy

Pasquill has been part of an ongoing dispute with comedian Chris Rock, who has endured severe racism from Pasquill. One of the most notable cases of this racism culminated in a week long KKK-sponsored rock music festival on the grounds of Rock's mansion, which he purchased with money made from allegedly stolen bicycles (according to Pasquill - yet to be confirmed).

He was released on bail in June 2007 (at the age of 13) following the manslaughter of 207 primary school children while on a wild sober ride in one of his many Roman chariots, taken from the set of his successful series of Ben Hur remakes.

Personal Life

Pasquill has been married to Taylor Swift for 30 years, which is longer than either of them have been alive, and has described those first few years as "alright".

In 2010, TMZ.com had reported that Swift was filing for a divorce, following her discovery of Pasquill in bed with 7 editions of FIFA 2012. Though he fathered several disc children, Pasquill reunited with Swift, and they have remained married since the affair.