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Eigeeen (West Cork) Is a Fictional town, made for comedic purposes.

(Ígeen in Gaelic) once formed part of the mighty parish of Baile Bhuirne. This rocky rain swept area was located to the South of the Parish west of Gort na gCrois. Eigeen was a peaceful little settlement of thirty seven families. The tragic extension of Eigeeen rivals that of the lost City of Atlantis or Pompeii. It is not known for certain the exact location of the village as records were burnt in 1918 during the Irish War of Independence.

"Death is not the worst that can happen to men"

History
The inhabitants of Eigeen were mercilessly wiped out in a horrifying act of ethnic cleansing and they're bodies tortured by the British occupational forces. Their human remains were placed in various walls, both national and international. Due to financial strains placed on Britain after the expansion of their empire, the English needed to use their resourcefulness. Hence the Eigeeens were lured out of their houses with promises of meat and wine and free land. However they were all deceived.

They were hit abruptly on the back of the head, usually by means of a spade or lump hammer, and then flung into a waiting mixer. The Eigeeens didn’t stand a chance. This special cement was used all over the world and masons couldn’t understand how tough and durable this new “mixture” was. When the slaughter ended after 1921 the English took all the remaining stone walls & Houses apart and carried them worldwide. Some say these stones were used in the construction of such modern effaces as the Empire State Building, and also the Sydney Opera House. No trace was left of its existence besides a small pebble with a distinct red mark on the back. Some say this is the Blood of the Patron saint of Eigeeen Saint Con who was shot dead by the British in 1632.

The most famous remaining Eigeeen wall is to be found at the Beochaill Bridge in Baile Bhuirne. Each year on the 7th of November a local day of mourning is held at the Beochaill Bridge. Locals pay tribute in song and dance and hold vigil to honour their fallen comrades. Rumours of wails and haunting sounds are said to be heard at night time from local inhabitants.

One local who wishes to remain an ominous, reported hearing a wail at 2.30am in the morning during comortas peile na gaelteachta weekend 2003 on his way home from the pub. A strange voice whispered

"Habb ù a ligght?"

The village of Eigeeen consisted of a football pitch (Pairc Na Coiníní) or 'Field of the Rabbits', four dwelling houses, A nightclub "The Haggard", a public house "Con Jacks", a post office and nineteen sibíns. '''

Famous inhabitants of Eigeeen include the Mundeen family, Jimmy Topping, Sìle Ni Ludìn, and if course local Musician and prominent Sport star and local politician Eoin "Catch me if you can" Handy who escaped the genocide. Also Eigeeen was home to Partlan Murrays Grandfather Joe Bettie Murray.

Eoin Handy now lives in Moscow with his wife Theresa Bàn Seàn

School
Eigeen consisted of two schools Scoil Eoiny, and the secondary School Colaiste Con. Eigeeen boasted of 3 teachers in its prime.

Employmemt
A local copper mine An Bagùn provided most of the employement in the area.

Tourism
In its day Eigeeen was the boast of west cork, with such attractions as "Finbars Chair", "The Magic Dog" and such art sculptures as "The Statue". There was one B&B in the area "Siobhains" and a hotel " The Parlor View "

Sport
Sport in Eigeen included Wet Dung Tossing aswell as the Ancient Sport of Caid - where the Eigeen Madraí Rua competed with local rivals. The Madraì Rua has over 6 Cork Senior Caid Titles collected.

Christmas in Eigeeen
Christmas in Eigeeen consisted of an eighteen day festival spanning from December 19th to Jan 6th. The Eigeeens believed that Christmas began the day Joseph and Mary took to the road from Bethlehem on the Donkey. This was celebrated in Eigeeen by "The Taming of the Donkey" which took place after a night of drinking and merry making on the 18th of December. Each Eigeeen would attempt to mount the village donkey or "asal" as the donkey was known. Failure to successfully mount the donkey would mean the shooting and carving up of the donkey. On the evening of December 19th Eigeeens would feast on "anraith asail" (donkey soup).

Lá na dreoilín (St Stephens Day) was another key date in the Eigeeen calender. Natives would make the long trip to Cill na Martra for the hunting of the Wren. The intense rivallry that existed between the Eigeeens and the Cill na Martras often lead to scuffles. The Mundeen family were well regarded for their scrapping abilities and never left the "Cross" without eight or nine bottles of Poteen between them. Historians suggest that this celebrated day was a precursor for Lá an Dunmharú that is celebrated in surrounding areas on December 27th.

Songs About Eigeeen
Many musicians have wrote about the tradgedy, here is one composed my the late great Martin Denim

As I think about Eigeeen

As I think about Eigeeen,

I can hear those ghastly screams

Into the mixer they were fed,

Both Arms legs feet and heads

T’was a an awful sight to see,

Said Jimmy Topping to Joe Mundeen

Chorus

Won’t you remember

Won’t you remember

Won’t you remember Eigeeen

Won’t you remember

Won’t you remember

Won’t you remember Eigeeen

And they cried and sighed and balled,

but ended up inside a wall

Spread all over the land,

In bridges, houses and dams

Never to return again,

to see our finbarrs chair

Chorus

won’t you remember

won’t you remember

won’t you remember Eigeeen

Won’t you remember

won’t you remember

won’t you remember Eigeeen

As I think about Eigeeen,

My heart it bleeds to see

The Madraì rua on the ball,

And our sons inside a wall

Oh take us away oh lord from here,

For our pain is too much to bare

Won’t you remember

won’t you remember

won’t you remember Eigeeen''

All men are by nature equal, made all of the same earth by one Workman; and however we deceive ourselves, as dear unto God is the poor peasant as the mighty prince. Plato