User:HK khawaja/Educational equity/AbiL7 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

HK khawaja


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:HK%20khawaja/Educational_equity?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Educational equity

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi HK khawaja,

Overall, great start to adding to the Educational Equity article! Some parts, however, do flow like an essay and I'll include details below:

-Some suggestions-

In Costs of education:

"The extraordinarily high cost of the many prestigious high schools and universities in the United States acts as an obstacle to the road toward "leveling the playing field". High-achieving low-income students do not have the means to attend selective schools that better prepare a student for later success."

^ This can benefit from having citations to some policy analysis papers detailing this trend: http://www.gpprspring.com/addressing-higher-ed-economics

Other sources to look at the racial wealth disparity in the U.S. that is hurting public education:

Jones, Tiffany, and Andrew Nichols. "Hard truths: Why only race-conscious policies can fix racism in higher education." (2020).

In Tutoring Programs' role in educational equity:

"Research, time and time again, has proved that U.S. is in the forefront on educational inequality and inequity in education when it comes to k-12 education ."

^ I think this can be phrased more neutrally by getting rid of 'time and time again'; this sounds like a judgement call

" There needed to be care put into the effort for educational equity following extensive hegemony from elementary to post-graduate education—into the crafting of the approach."

^ This sounds a bit too essay-like. I would suggest something like "Social anthropologists such as Rosalind Eyben (add citation) cite hegemony as being a prime factor shaping education from elementary to post-graduate education..." then "As a solution to this she suggests ...". Then transition into how tutoring programs are a possible intervention space.

I find the reference to Reading Partners in the beginning of the next section to feel a bit off. I would include a small paragraph just defining the organization and perhaps linking it to your other Wiki article. Then transition into the facts you state about the specific work they do in the context of the U.S. curriculum standards.

Great incorporation of your NTH paper, though some paragraphs sound too much geared towards the NTH paper, and touts an agenda of "radical systems" that can be more neutrally described rather than being subtly advocated for throughout.