User:HYang2024/Inclusive design/MollyPribble Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

HYang2024 and group


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Lead
I think the lead is generally pretty good, even though it is not finished. I'm not sure what you were planning on saying, but I think having a concise, one-sentence definition of inclusive design at the beginning makes sense for the article.

Content
I really like the changes you've made to the content thus far. The addition of the history section is good. I think you could talk more in depth about how inclusive design gain prominence and conclude with what impacts it has today both in the built environment and product design, if you can find this information.

I think the best change you've made so far is highlighting the differences between universal design/accessibility and inclusive design in a much better way than the original article. When reading the original article, these sections were not clear, not factual, and barely had any sources. I think the edits you've made so far to this section in particular make a large improvement over the original article.

I also like that you changed the last section to present it as various "approaches" to inclusive design as opposed to the original article that presents it as the "steps" to inclusive design (which seems more like a statement of "this is how you do inclusive design" instead of "this is how you can approach inclusive design according to these various sources").

Tone & Balance
The original article had a lot of casual tone and writing that was not purely based on facts. I think your edits have made the current version much better, but there are still some places were it reads like an opinion and there are no sources to back up the claims (i.e. things like "...an inclusive design process should be accessible..." ). I think you can easily change these to statements that are based in fact and rely on the principles and purpose of inclusive design.

Sources & References
Looks like you have a lot more references, which is great. I think there are some places you can add citations though. Particularly in the accessibility section, it is unclear where the example in the last sentence came from.

Organization
I think your organization is great. The order makes sense to me.

Images & Media
None yet. There may be some diagrams you can use to visual represents inclusive design philosophy, but this also may be an article with fewer images in general.

Overall Impression
I think you all have done a great job so far. I would continue to add sources and details to the article. I would also focus on changing some of the language to be less opinionated and more statements of facts based on the sources you have.