User:Habsfan619/sandbox

((Kofi Washington))

Presidency
Kofi is the real first President of the United States of Everything. George Washington's wife was actually Kofi's girlfriend. Martha Washington stated, " President Kofi is a sex symbol". She also stated that President Kofi took the first steps in ending slavery. This is supported when she says "OH GOD! What is this huge thing that I feel inside of me", she said this during one of their sex sessions to which she added " which was amazing by the way". Only because it was Kofi, the Master of Sex. It is said that Kofi did not enjoy Martha's ass. He says "it wasn't a normal white ass. It was a, hmmmm, it was too skinny, it wasn't even flat! It went inwards towards her front, like the way an armpit goes inwards. It was like anti-ass. It was like when God made her he said 'you have a face and your a person.' God didn't really care about her ass". In his journals, Kofi wrote," I wondered how this girl took her shits! Like what the hell. This girls ass is a freaking armpit. I'd hate to be her husband, it's a good thing I'm hitting it on the side, for my brothers. But it wasn't really an it because she really had nothing. I honestly feel bad for her. I've seen her putting pillows in her ass to try and look thick.". In another instance he said, " I think that she sweats her shit out". One of the soldiers that worked under him recalled an experience, "I saw Kofi trying to smack that ass, but he hurt his hand. I was like dang! That girl is really nothing." Now, President Kofi speculates that Martha was an alias to her actual name. Something we will never know due to her unfortunate death f*ck. This is supported during an interview with President Kofi in which he states, "She died for two minutes and during her death she had several multiple orgasms in her death. It was sad and satisfying to watch. Just kidding, it wasn't satisfying, it was just funny.