User:Hannah-Walton12/Pachydiplax longipennis/Squidgerine Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Hannah-Walton12


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Hannah-Walton12/Pachydiplax longipennis


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Blue dasher

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, a really nice draft! The only things that stick out to me is finalizing the formatting (fixing the format of the references section, adding sources to sentences like other Wiki articles, and linking to other wiki articles when a new concept is discussed) and some sentence revision.

> In the mating behavior section "effect/effects" should be "affect/affects"

>In the Diet section, I would personally re-write this sentence ("by many different factors, such as external temperature, prey availability, and perch position") to "by different factors such as external temperature...position."

>There's a few words/phrases I'd suggest removing from this article - they sound good and make the article flow better, but in terms of tone it feels like I'm reading an essay rather than a Wikipedia article (not sure how to phrase this other than saying that Wikipedia articles are generally more "neutral" and bland?)

-I'd remove the "interestingly" phrase in the Diet/Feeding section

-Revise the phrase "really tiny prey" in Diet section

-The way the sentence "It seems that the more successful an individual is using aggression, then the more likely they will gain a better perch and thus increase their chance to find prey." is written is probably okay, but in the final draft when sources are added, make sure you make it clear that this hypothesis is from one of the primary sources you have and not potentially you, the editor.

Keep up the good work!

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