User:HannahFrandrup/Ramtin Ray Nosrati/FlyingLobster Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

HannahFrandrup, Joannluksza, CoxxCamm712


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:HannahFrandrup/Ramtin Ray Nosrati


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ramtin Ray Nosrati

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, great start! The information you provided is informative and unbiased. Obviously this is just the beginning of your first draft, but I would suggest adding specific projects he has worked on. Perhaps you could have a separate section of his works, with specific information about each of his projects you choose to include. Adding images of Ramtin himself, and his projects would also be very beneficial. Another thing to note: your third sentence is a direct quote. I would advise trying to put that into your own words; if I recall correctly, I think wikipedia recommends only using very short direct quotes, if any at all. And I think that sentence you quoted could easily be rewritten in your own words. However, I do like the quote you chose to include towards the end, as it really speaks about what he stands for in his work--but I think it works well mostly because it is a direct quote from the man himself. Furthermore, you have a good list of sources so far. Also, once the article is developed more, make sure you add a lead at the very beginning.