User:HannahGransden/User:Jovanna.moya/Ka’ila Farrell-Smith/HannahGransden Peer Review

Lead:

Short and to the point, well done. In the lead there is mention of her being an environmental activist and an author, but you are currently lacking on information about those aspects of her life. I can find an empty section regarding authored works, but I don't see anything for environmental activism specifically, that is something you should consider adding.

Content:

EDUCATION

-Consider adding the years she attended University and/or the years she graduated

ARTWORKS

-There is a grammatical error in the first sentence of the first paragraph in the artworks section. Consider changing "who using" to "who uses" as she is still alive.

-The second sentence in the first paragraph is a bit lengthy. Consider splitting it into two sentences. ex: "Smith uses childlike playfulness in her art as a tool to explore and experiment with self-made pigments. This creates an aesthetic that takes the space of abstract indigenous formalism."

-You already have a note that a citation is needed at the end of the first paragraph, this is just a reminder not to forget that.

-Your description of the specific artworks could be a bit more detailed. Consider including the size, material, subject matter, and date that the pieces were created. This is both for painting 019 and the art piece Raindance. (I know you added details about the exhibition I will get into that a bit later, but I'm referring to the art piece itself in this note)

AUTHORED WORKS & AWARDS AND HONORS

-These two sections are currently blank. I am aware that you had some technical issues and your work got deleted, but I am hoping that you will fill this in with the proper information, or delete the tabs before you publish if you do not end up adding information in these categories. Stated in the lead she is an author so I am confident there is work out there that you could include under authored works. As for awards and honors, I'm not sure if you have information regarding her work as an environmental activist or awards regarding her artworks but I hope you fill it in with something.

Tone and Balance

I think your tone is very neutral with no bias. As I have already mentioned I do believe you need to add some more information regarding specific artworks and the environmental activism and authored works. This project is about spreading awareness for artists, so you could also add possibly a few more artworks, as you only have two currently listed. And though you have mentioned ghosts in the machine exhibition, with a basic search I see that she's been in quite a few exhibits / exhibitions which you could expand on. Those are just a few things I think are a bit underrepresented. Overall the information that is provided is well written and very balanced.

Sources and References

-Your targeted new service link doesn't take me to the right place. It takes me to a list of management people and their contacts rather than to a place that talks about Ka'ila Farrell-Smith's educational accomplishments, which is what you are using it as a source for.

-All your sources seem to have been published in the early 2020s when your artist would have been in her late 30s early 40s. This isn't necessarily problematic, but I was curious if this was because she didn't make any work before that and if she started her career as an artist a little later? If that is the case I would try to make mention of her artist career and providing a timeline for that. If she was making art pre pandemic, consider looking for some sources that have publications prior to 2020 to help add with diversity.

Organisation

-My only note about organization is in regards to her exhibition information you currently have. Under artworks you talk about painting 019 and how it was a part of the "ghosts in the machine" exhibition. I would consider moving "This exhibition consists of a series of about twenty paintings. All are made using Northern Paiute lithium topsoil, acrylics, aerosols, and graphite.[4] The pieces in this series range in size, 019 is 48 x 30 inches on stretched canvas. The purpose of this exhibition was to confront the use of indigenous sacred land resources for the use of Western technologies.[5]" under exhibits and exhibitions, and following up by considering adding more specific details about painting 019 under artworks.

Images and Media

-I think it would be really cool to add in some pictures of what she created if you are able to, but if you can't find Wikipedia approved images not a big deal.

Overall Impressions

I think you have a good start to your article. The information you do have is well written. The sections you have decided to add relate to your individual and the different aspects of her life. As I mentioned before the only real issue is a lack of information, but as you have communicated there was a problem last week while as you were updating a lot of your work got deleted and you have yet to replace all of that.

General info
(Jovanna.moya)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jovanna.moya/Ka%E2%80%99ila_Farrell-Smith
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
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