User:HannahLH/Appropriate technology/Lin.jaide Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

HannahLH


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:HannahLH/Appropriate technology
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Appropriate technology

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
An edit to the lead section is used and clearly summarizes the additional information within the article — one potential edit is mostly making the statement more concise. For example, the lead section edit can possibly be reworded to: In regards to implementing technology in the agriculture sector, many discussed innovations are intended to potentially increase food production.

Content
The content included on the stratification of food provisions and food security across countries is tangentially related to the overall article and directly relevant to the "Agriculture" section— however, some potential edits to improving the clarity and contextualization of the changes include:

- Clarifying that there is a proven/studied correlation between household income, location, debt amount, education, etc. since the factors may not necessarily have established causation to increase food insecurity (if the opposite is true, then cite/reference the study in more detail to establish the nature of this causal relationship)

- Potentially clarifying which communities (ie. rural communities, etc.) are being most adversely impacted by uneven distribution and availability of food.

Tone and Balance
Overall the tone and balance is well-maintained, aside from treading closely to opinion-piece tones in certain statements (for example: This is problematic because this gives more power to outsiders (who don’t have a stake in the local community’s best interest) than to the community members themselves.)

Sources and References
Sources and references look good, although certain research studies and observational reports on the correlation of household income, etc. to food insecurity can make a nice addition to the "Agriculture" section edits.

Organization
Overall, the article edits are well-organized and easy to follow — they help to clarify certain applications of appropriate technology within varying sectors and fit nicely into the published Wikipedia article.

Images and Media
N/A (edits did not include additions to images and media)

Overall Impressions
Overall, I found the edits interesting and well-cited — there was a clear flow from one idea to the other and the lead section clearly reflected how exactly appropriate technology plays a role in agricultural development and sustainable agriculture and farming. Aside from adjusting the tone and phrasing of certain statements and re-establishing credibility for certain studies and research findings, the edits are essentially appropriate for including in the Wikipedia article.