User:Hanniefarah/Little Shuswap Indian Band/Fb20009 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Hanniefarah


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Hanniefarah/Little_Shuswap_Indian_Band?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Good start/draft to your Wiki Page. Every section is clear and presents a specific aspect of the First Nation in a concise matter. I understand that obtaining information is difficult, but if you could add a "History" or "Background" section to discuss more about how the First Nation was founded. In addition, some of the sections do not need to be completely "new" sections. For example, the "Name" section could just be a subheading after "culture" or language". For the "about" section, you do not need the "about" heading there, just make it your intro paragraph.

As for the content itself, it is easy to read. There are a few parts that do not make sense, such as how in the "culture" section, you start off discussing what is used for the smudging ceremony without even talking about what the smudging ceremony is. If you do not want to keep defining terms, I suggest you try to Wiki link them to other pages so users can click them. Some of the sentences did seem repetitive at times when I was reading them. For example, this whole section

"Grand Chief Felix Arnouse explained the importance of the sweat lodge. The sweat lodge can provide great healing and it is used for traditional purification processes. This happens through sweating out toxins from the body. It can be done through laughing, shouting, or crying with emphasis on letting go of negative energy. The Grand Chief sees the rebuilding of the sweat lodge as a way to share his culture with tourists." could easily be written in like two or three sentences.

This sentence "They chose to build a tourist lodge. Job security for their members was also very important to them, which is another reason they came up with this idea in 1979." can be rewritten as "Because job security was important to them, the band members came up with the idea to build a tourist lodge in 1979"

You definitely need to include some Wiki links, but that can be easily fixed. Also check the spelling of everything, I understand some of the words are seen as misspelled on the page but make sure that everything is spelled correctly, I was concerned about words like “Qw7Ewt”.

As for the language, you do a good job at keeping it neutral. You also do a good job using reliable, secondary sources for your page. There are no images, so you can add them if you want/if there are some available.

I would say overall, you have a good start to a strong Wiki Article. Like I said, work on adding more information to sections such as the COVID-19 one. I also suggest you include some sort of information about history or how the First Nation was founded. Also maybe include more information about demographics. If you are having trouble finding information, look to see if your First Nation has a Census page, that's what helped me with mine. Maybe talk more about the political situation, or the economics, or if they have an official religion.