User:Haolongzzz/Colin Huang/Lwang6 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Haolongzzz


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Haolongzzz/Colin_Huang?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Colin Huang

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Haolong,

Overall good improvements on your wiki page!

As Kaylea said on the talk page, I also think that gathering sources from different points of view would be helpful and neutral for this wiki page by finding more business articles other than Forbes. I am also thinking that maybe the letter section could be put under the career Heading, or, business career heading as well as a Sub-heading. Since the name of the event can't really be a Heading on the wiki page (Heading title should be something like History, Career, Awards and Honors, Family and personal life something like those).

I find a really successful wiki page (马云 Jack Ma) for your reference. That is a businessman as well so you could see how to write a businessman wiki successfully.

Hope my advice helps! Good job and keep working!