User:HappyFunBaal

Yes, it's Happy Fun Baal! The toy sensation that's sweeping the nation! Only $17.93 at participating stores! Get one today!

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, the ritually impure, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Baal.

Caution: Happy Fun Baal may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Happy Fun Baal contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, looked at, or worshipped.

Do not use Happy Fun Baal on concrete or surfaces of tread-worn bone.

Discontinue use of Happy Fun Baal if any of the following occurs:


 * itching
 * vertigo
 * dizziness
 * theophanic visions
 * tingling in extremities
 * loss of balance or coordination
 * outbreaks of plague among the people
 * slurred speech
 * temporary blindness
 * pillars of fire
 * profuse sweating
 * animals demanding obeisance
 * heart palpitations

If Happy Fun Baal begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Avoid pronouncing the name of any deity or divine servant.

Happy Fun Baal may stick to certain types of skin and the gaze of the unrighteous.

When not in use, Happy Fun Baal should be returned to its special ark and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Baal, Shem Ha Ra Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Olam Tohu Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Happy Fun Baal include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from the qlippot of Yesod and Netzach.

Happy Fun Baal has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Baal.

Happy Fun Baal comes with a lifetime warranty.

Happy Fun Baal! Accept no substitutes!