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Friendship Plus Love Equals Significant Other
“Love”: a strong affection, warm attachment, or unselfish loyal and charitable concern towards another person (Merriam-Webster). Is love explainable? Many people say it’s the, can’t eat, sleep notion, but really is it? Everyone has their own opinion on love but when it comes to loving a significant other that can be hard at times. How do you know who your significant other is? How do you find this person? There is an answer to all of these proposed questions about love and your significant other. While being a young adult whether in college or not, one looking for a significant other should look for a true friend.

It’s true that many people meet and marry after or during college. Therefore looking for a romantic partner is a common situation that we all as human beings go threw. According to the U.S. Census Bureau 52% of men get married within the ages of 25 to 29 and for women 66.9% get married within the same age range (Department of Health). The average age for men getting married is 27 and for women it is 25 (Department of Health). According to University of Wisconsin Eau Claire there is a total student population of 10,549 and 738 of them are 25 or older. Therefore the rest of the students which is around 93% are under 25 years of age (Overview). These students have not graduated yet and are potentially still looking for a significant other.

When looking for a significant other or romantic partner it’s a good idea to look for someone with similar distinguishing characteristics. According to the peer reviewed Journal of Psychological Type it’s important to have similar personalities, creativity, religious orientation, kindness, respect and to be understanding when in a romantic relationship (Hester). This study was done by the usage of the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator. Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a questionnaire that looks at your preferred way of doing things, including gathering information, making decisions and how you relate to and communicate with others (Hester). Out of all of the given characteristics, respect is the most important. The reason for this is because friend means one being attached to another by respect, affection, and one who is not hostile (Merriam-Webster). A friend can also mean more than just a dictionary definition. For example from my personal experience a friend is someone who helps you to like yourself. A friend is someone who sees you the way you wish to be seen. Friends are our memories' greatest treasures. Friends try to keep you on your toes, but never treat you like a heel. Friends are our finest gift from God! Unlike most things that we have today, friends will often last for a lifetime. Friends are like the sunshine that chase the clouds away. Friends usually have the last word. . . when they say "I love you." Not only do these definitions and duties explain a friend but they explain love too. Together friendship and love have a great connection.

According to peer reviewed Journal of Social & Personal Relationships, “Lovers as friends,” 44% of undergraduates in a romantic relationship state that their partner is their true friend (Hendrick). This percentage was generated by the usage of diaries, journals, autobiographies, and questionnaires. One may wonder what if I have multiple friends. Time will pass and you will figure out who is the truest. Getting involved socially and habitually will allow for discovery of true friends.

Excessive consumption of alcohol, primarily done at parties and bars, will not lead you to true friendship. The usage of alcohol does increase sexual desire, therefore being more open sexually may lead to friendship but true friendship is doubtful (Denzler). These results were established by the usage of random men consuming alcohol and then given pictures of females which then they commented on. Also there were many questions and answers that followed their comments. According to peer reviewed Journal of Interpersonal Violence heavy episodic drinking and number of sex partners predicted rape or attempted rape (Buddie). The authors came to this conclusion by comparing the rates of sexual aggression and alcohol which produced a logistic regression, statistical testing. Also the US Department of Justice releases that 39% of attempted rapes and 17% of sexual assaults result in injured victims (Department of Justice). Do true friends injure you, and that answer is no.

Finding your significant other is a challenge but by being social, no heavy episodic drinking, being yourself, and finding someone that has similar distinguishing characteristics will lead you to your true friend and significant other.