User:Hazelanon/Eustochium/Okiecashew Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Hazelanon


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Hazelanon/Eustochium?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Eustochium

Evaluate the drafted changes
-It looks like some of your citations aren't linked. In the first paragraph some of the {1} are linked but not all. I think if you delete your current citation after the sentence and then click the citation button above "publish changes" there's a re-use tab and you can make them all linkable to the footnote

-Can you link desert mother to the Wiki article for that? And some of the other names throughout (Toxotius, Jerome)

-I would add a little phrase after Jerome explaining who is for context

-A lot of this article that you didn't write is giving plaigerism vibes -- I might check that out. Just some of the language feels very old and like someone copied and pasted -- "as austere a life as the fathers of the desert" etc.

-Great detail added about the gendered quarers in the monasteries

-"Some authors" -- which? And authors of what, Christian history? Current scholars? Maybe cite an article that contains these critiques

- "A high ranking member of the community" -- which community? And ranking through what, class? Wealth? Politics? Family? Religion? I know it's explained later but probably good to sum up here

-The article looks like it doesn't have any sections, maybe split it up for structure purposes, like early life, monastic work, veneration, maybe even a section on artistic representations of her if you needed more stuff to add!!

-This helps me see formatting for a single paragraph that combines multiple historical perspectives/scholarly sources