User:Hdebus/Vaseux-Bighorn National Wildlife Area/Bubbles the fish Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Hdebus


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Hdebus/Vaseux-Bighorn_National_Wildlife_Area?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Vaseux-Bighorn National Wildlife Area

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall I enjoyed reading this article. I learned a lot about the Vaseux-Bighorn National Wildlife area:)

There are over five parts of the content that has been mentioned in detail. - nicely done!!

I have a few notes to add for each section.

Background:

Overall it is very good. I like how it gives a brief understanding about the subject.

- One part that I am unsure about is "the area was able to be classified as a Category IV area by the IUCN". What does Category IV mean. I would suggest either putting a link or explaining it.

Attractions:

I like the length of this paragraph. I also like how it gives the public an idea about what they can do there while also relating to ecology and wildlife.

- "On these trails there are many wildlife viewing areas on the trails and across its boardwalk" - Trails is repeated twice. I would recommend starting the sentence at there are many wildlife viewing areas.

How the Boundaries and Size of the Protected Area were Decided:

I like how this paragraph is straight to the answer of the heading.

Other species found in the protected area:

Very well written section!

- I would recommend adding a hyperlink to the species listed so the reader will be able to know the description of them and what they look like.

Goals:

This section was very interesting to read about. I liked how it neatly discussed all the points said at the header within each goal.

- Just a suggestion: make paragraph breaks between each goal so that it is easier for readers to break it down.

- In restoration and management - the r should be lowercase.

- "A river in the area has been channeled due to human interference, to increase access to water a pond habitat will be increased" - comma between pond and habitat otherwise it becomes difficult to read with increased being repeated twice.

- "In order to reach these goals the Government of Canada has stated some objectives and methods to reduce threats to species within the protected area however, specific methods and monitoring processes could not be found. The results of these goals are also unavailable." - comma between these goals and the Government. Additionally, the word however could be the start of a new sentence.

Biogeo c limatic zones and climate change: - (C needs to be added to this heading)

This section was very interesting to me learning about the temperature changes. It made me worried about the future reading about it. eek

- Just a suggestion, change the abbreviation of NWA to national wildlife area, or just use area at the end, which was done at another part in the paragraph.

- "Precipitation patterns are likewise expected to change in the southern Okanagan Valley" - I don't think the likewise is necessary.

History and Natural Resources:

I like how it was in chronological order with paragraph breaks between the important changes in time and people.

- "Fall burns occurred every 2-15 years depending on fuel loads and were large" - the and were large seems just added in at the end, it is choppy to read.

- "improve the habitats of wildlife" - habitats of wildlife or wildlife habitats?

Species at risk:

I like how in depth each of these species was talked about along with giving the dates of when the designations began.

- to start, the heading for the white-headed woodpecker is missing.

Lewis woodpecker

- "habitat loss due to urbanization, the logging industry and wildfire" - wildfire or wildfires?

- occupied by plants that insects are abundant in.[22]. - double period, change to single

- "Vaseux-Bighorn national park is an area with these habitats and it is protected making it a suitable spot for these birds to live in" - add commas habitats, and it is protected, making it...

Pallid Bat

- At the begging it is spelt pallidf - I think this is a typo

- "designated as threatened and this was confirmed in 2010" instead of, and this was, use which was

- "These bats feed on insects and can be poisoned by the pesticides that farmers spray their fruits with through their prey" - this sentence is a bit choppy

Bear's Hairstreak

- Put the dates in chronological order - 2012 first then 2017

- "This includes one of their biggest population threats, wild fires" - wildfire instead of wild fire.

Peregrine Falcon

- originally instead of original

- Comma after 2007

References:

Good sources!

There are a couple repeats of the same sources:

1 and 2 are the same

6 and 8 are the same

11 to 16 are the same

24 to 26 are the same