User:Henryschiller/Skunk and tank

Skunk and Tank is a HealthDropz sponsored web based video series starring fictional characters Tank Finkelstein and Skunk Swagfly.

History
Skunk (b. November 26, 1988)

(Fictional Biography) Skunk Swagfly was born in the parking lot outside of the Denny's where his 15 year old mother worked in Opossumville, Mississippi. He was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome due to his mother's outstanding problem with alcohol culminating in her drinking a liter of Everclear during her 1 hour of labor which coincidentally cut into her half hour lunch break from the Denny's. His mother's consistently inebriated state during the 9 months of pregnancy leading up to Skunk's birth resulted in her not knowing she was pregnant until she had been in labor for over 40 minutes. A doctor who was later called on sight said the neurological effects of Skunk's Fetal Alcohol Syndrome were so severe that it was as if he had been born after receiving 8 consecutive concussions, in addition to the concussion he actually suffered when his mother dropped him on the hood of her Pontiac Grand Am moments after his birth.

He was kicked out of public school in the third grade, and he claims this was due to his showing up for school drunk and attempting to solicit sexual favors from his teacher. This, however, is contestable as a statement of fact as the teachers at Swagfly's elementary school have stated that he didn't show up to class enough to even qualify as a student in the first place.

Tank (b. April 14, 1988)

(Fictional Biography) Chiam "Tank" Finkelstein was born in Brooklyn, NY; the only son of Mortimer and Ethelyn Finkelstein. He was named after jewish rock legend and Kiss frontman Chiam Witz (Gene Simmons). Finkelstein's parents own a vintage record store; much to his chagrin, as he listens almost exclusively to popular rap music. Tank became involved in online gaming in the 7th grade, when a biology teacher recognized his ineptitude for conventional schooling and gave him access to the popular online game Counterstrike in the middle school's computer room. Finkelstein attended Stuyvesant High School in lower Manhattan where, as a self proclaimed social outcast, he developed a crippling addiction to so-called gangster films.

Finkelstein often makes claims regarding his supposedly high intelligence, and while he is certainly more cognoscente than his counterpart, he has at no point in his life demonstrated any sort of advanced skill at anything other than online gaming.

Skunk & Tank Show
Finkelstein and Swagfly met online in 2002 while both were beta-testing for the MMOFPS PlanetSide. They led a fierce verbal assault of a web administrator and both were banned from the server, prompting them to become fast friends; however as the two were high school students at the time and living in different states, they did not meet in person until 2006.

Skunk and Tank met in real life when they were both kicked out of a public screening of Scarface for incessant use of what were perceived as racially charged profanities but were in fact utterances of cannabis induced gibberish. The duo claim to have bonded over their love of rap artists 50 Cent, 36 Mafia, Lil Wayne, and Jadakiss; but more importantly they found common ground in their intense love for gaming. The duo are self proclaimed "masters" of such popular games as Grand Theft Auto, Diablo 2, Halo 3, BioShock, Mass Effect, and Super Smash Brothers, an incident involving this last one having resulted in their being banned from Nintendo World.

Youtube Ban
According to Finkelstein and Swagfly, the Tank and Skunk web series was banned from Youtube for 14 months and all of their archived content removed due to the posting of a video in which Finkelstein's bare scrotum was exposed for over 6 minutes of the 9 minute video. The video's description listed the names of the Jonas brothers and High School Musical cast-members, suggesting that the video was intended for youtube viewers conducting searches of these "musicians." After being removed from youtube, the video was reposted eight seperate times, resulting in a 14 month ban. Of his time spent during the ban, Swagfly has stated that he felt lost and confused, although later confirmed that this was his general state of mind.

Current Show and HealthDropz
The duo returned to the mainstream internet September of 2009, with a newly formatted show and a HealthDropz sponsorship. The new show focuses less on gaming and bare scrotum and is instead more involved with the fictional exploits of its two central characters who seem to frequently involve themselves in physical challenges with people they meet on the internet. The two rely heavily on HealthDropz to succeed at anything, Finkelstein citing it as the only product that can give him enough energy to "game all night, and then jog four miles every morning." Before any long stretch of gaming the two take several drops of the HealthDropz supplement which, according to Finkelstein, seems to make Swagfly focus enough on one thing that he is practically clear of his constant stoner haze.

The duo promote their new show through vrious online media outlets; they have a facebook group, a myspace account, and a youtube channel amongst others.