User:Heroeswithmetaphors/man

A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him — woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things — a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds — engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. This is immortality. A man can speak to dogs. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man knows how to sneak a look at cleavage and doesn't care if he gets busted once in a while. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.

A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.

A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not.

Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

A man loves the human body, the revelation of nakedness. He loves the sight of the pale breast, the physics of the human skeleton, the alternating current of the flesh. He is thrilled by the snatch, by the wrist, the sight of a bare shoulder. He likes the crease of a bent knee. When his woman bends to pick up her underwear, he feels that thrum that only a man can feel.

A man doesn't point out that he did the dishes.

A man looks out for children. Makes them stand behind him.

A man knows how to bust balls.

A man has had liquor enough in his life that he can order a drink without sounding breathless, clueless, or obtuse. When he doesn't want to think, he orders bourbon or something on tap.

Never the sauvignon blanc.

A man welcomes the coming of age. It frees him. It allows him to assume the upper hand and teaches him when to step aside.

Maybe he never has, and maybe he never will, but a man figures he can knock someone, somewhere, on his ass.

He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn't winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. He doesn't see himself lost in some great maw of humanity, some grand sweep. That's the liberal thread; it's why men won't line up as liberals.

A man gets the door. Without thinking.

He stops traffic when he must.

A man resists formulations, questions belief, embraces ambiguity without making a fetish out of it. A man revisits his beliefs. Continually. That's why men won't forever line up with conservatives, either.

A man knows his tools and how to use them — just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud, when to use galvanized nails.

A miter saw, incidentally, is the kind that sits on a table, has a circular blade, and is used for cutting at precise angles. Very satisfying saw.

A man knows how to lose an afternoon. Drinking, playing Grand Theft Auto, driving aimlessly, shooting pool.

He knows how to lose a month, also.

A man listens, and that's how he argues. He crafts opinions. He can pound the table, take the floor. It's not that he must. It's that he can.

A man is comfortable being alone. Loves being alone, actually. He sleeps.

Or he stands watch. He interrupts trouble. This is the state policeman. This is the poet. Men, both of them.

A man loves driving alone most of all.

Style — a man has that. No matter how eccentric that style is, it is uncontrived. It's a set of rules.

He understands the basic mechanics of the planet. Or he can close one eye, look up at the sun, and tell you what time of day it is. Or where north is. He can tell you where you might find something to eat or where the fish run. He understands electricity or the internal-combustion engine, the mechanics of flight or how to figure a pitcher's ERA.

A man does not know everything. He doesn't try. He likes what other men know.

A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.

A man does not wither at the thought of dancing. But it is generally to be avoided.

A man watches. Sometimes he goes and sits at an auction knowing he won't spend a dime, witnessing the temptation and the maneuvering of others. Sometimes he stands on the street corner watching stuff. This is not about quietude so much as collection. It is not about meditation so much as considering. A man refracts his vision and gains acuity. This serves him in every way. No one taught him this — to be quiet, to cipher, to watch. In this way, in these moments, the man is like a zoo animal: both captive and free. You cannot take your eyes off a man when he is like that. You shouldn't. The hell if you know what he is thinking, who he is, or what he will do next.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/what-is-a-man-0509

At least once in his life, a man should...
 * 1: Play rugby.
 * 2: Repair an appliance.
 * 3: Fly the red-eye from Vegas.
 * 4: Fly a Cessna.
 * 5: Make a list of seventy-five things you want to do before you die. It's hard.
 * 6: Fast for three days. Drink water.
 * 7: Drive the Great Ocean Road in southern Australia. Or the Pacific Coast Highway.
 * 8: Make a perfect omelet.
 * 9: Drive by yourself from coast to coast.
 * 10: Recognize the accomplishments of others.
 * 11: Do a flip off a diving board. Nail it.
 * 12: Leave yourself a letter in a library book. Look for it twenty years later.
 * 13: Watch a bad movie so often that when you see it by accident...
 * 14: Toboggan, aggressively.
 * 15: Scuba dive.
 * 16: Drink mescal in Mexico.
 * 17: Cultivate a reputation.
 * 18: Learn three to four chords on the guitar, until you can play one song.
 * 19: Live in a hotel suite for a week.
 * 20: Milk a cow. Drink that.
 * 21: Build a fence.
 * 22: Carry a totem in your pocket.
 * 23: Help someone dig out.
 * 24: Pick an animal. Something cool like a wolverine. Go see it in the wild.
 * 25: Shoplift.
 * 26: Throw a real party.
 * 27: Live outside the homeland.
 * 28: Start something that scares you.
 * 29: Choose a word or a phrase and actively work to never use it again.
 * 30: Eat mussels in Bruges.
 * 31: Break a sheet of plate glass with a ball-peen hammer.
 * 32: Cook the same thing (over and over) until you are known for it.
 * 33: Overspend.
 * 34: Have a threesome.
 * 35: Quit something you love.
 * 36: Take care of someone else's three-year-old for a day.
 * 37: Get very good at a sport that isn't a sport.
 * 38: Listen to war stories.
 * 39: Tell war stories.
 * 40: Write someone else's life story without mentioning yourself.
 * 41: Sing in public.
 * 42: Sell everything you don't need. Once.
 * 43: Play golf at Carnoustie.
 * 44: Play chess until you beat someone you shouldn't, then quit forever.
 * 45: Give up your seat.
 * 46: Kill, dress, cook, and eat wild game.
 * 47: Attend the funeral of someone you didn't know that well.
 * 48: Take a vow. Keep it.
 * 49: Eat a six-course meal that you prepared.
 * 50: Live at a high altitude.
 * 51: Spend some time working for tips.
 * 52: Overeat for a week.
 * 53: Make a movie, even a short one.
 * 54: Give a panhandler all of your money.
 * 55: Make beer, wine, or moonshine.
 * 56: Read Lolita.
 * 57: Have sex in a body of water.
 * 58: Ride a horse.
 * 59: Eat congee. Eat haggis. Eat tongue. Eat kidneys. Eat brain. Eat testicles.
 * 60: Walk twenty miles. Bring water.
 * 1) 61-63: Go to the desert. Take long-lasting drugs. Drink water.
 * 64: Watch television for twenty-four hours uninterrupted.
 * 65: Save something from the dump.
 * 66: Climb something you are afraid of.
 * 67: Get a manicure.
 * 68: Eat a two-course meal that you grew.
 * 69: Get a deep-tissue massage.
 * 70: Sleep outside for a week.
 * 71: Put a hundred bucks on a long shot. To win.
 * 72: Go to Paris. Tell no one where you are. Stay there for two weeks.
 * 73: Raise a dog.
 * 74: Peg the speedometer.
 * 75: Bungee jump.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/75-things-0808