User:Herostratus/Holy Jumping Catfish!

Seriously, what the heck is the matter with the people at Wikipedia Review? I haven't seen such an amalgamation of ignorance with hysteria since the last Sarah Palin rally.

So what happened was, I was mostly inactive for an extended period (couple of years), so I thought I'd write a note about that on my userpage. Since I doubt if anyone actually cares whether or not I am active, or why, and since I'm delightfully insouciant (it says so right on my user page), I made a humorous note that my output was constrained as the "Local Council" had forbidden me access to a computer, and that my "majordomo" had to type in the edits I wrote out for him. The Local Council also "prohibited" me from any reading material published "before 1960", and so forth. (The whole page is here, and it's not really very funny, but one can't be spot-on all the time.)

(IMPORTANT NOTES: 1) Local Councils do not have the authority to take away one's computer, and 2) Local Councils do not have the authority to prohibit anyone from reading material published before a given date (!), and 3) Local Councils do not have the authority to imprison persons last time I checked, and 4) no one has a "majordomo" anymore. If you are not able to understand this, please shoot yourself now.)

Anyway, it naturally followed that the knuckleheads at Wikipedia Review read this, and through the power of their massive brains decided that 1) I myself am a pedophile, and 2) I was incarcerated, and therefore 3) I was incarcerated for being a pedophile! Some person who calls himself "Eric Barbour" started a thread off with "Despite being banned from Wikipedia (and computers generally) by court order, notorious pedophilia editor Herostratus is still able to edit WP..." and it went downhill from there.

Jesus Haploid Christ. Now I know how this guy feels.

This all afforded me quite a bit of laugh-out-loud amusement. I haven't seen a performance like this since the last time I kicked over an ant's nest. On the other hand, some people advocated that investigation be made into my real-life identity, which is, you know, not really so funny, considering. And I was blocked from editing Wikipedia for this, for crying out loud (ostensibly I was blocked for giving my account info to my "majordomo" (gee, I guess even incarcerated people have majordomos now), but it's pretty clear it was because of this thread.)

Well, whatever. It sure is a funny world.