User:Hgabrie/Dorothee Kern/Mcjorda Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Hgabrie


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Hgabrie/Dorothee_Kern?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Dorothee Kern

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I think the Lead does a good job introducing the topic. The introductory sentence is strong and provides the two main relevant contributions of the individual. At first glance, I felt like the structure of the Lead was odd because the paragraphs are so short, but I do believe the structure makes sense despite appearing somewhat unorthodox. The content of the article was good. The article does an especially good job at summarizing the scientific contributions of the subject and explaining their relevance without getting lost in the technicalities. The content also address equity gaps by recognizing a renowned female scientist.

Overall, the tone of the article is neutral and didactic. I thought the article was fairly neutral even when discussing Communist East Germany. I am curious about the choice to refer to the police force as "loyal". This seems to be characteristic, almost by definition, of all police forces and also seems like a subjective finding. If this term "loyal" came from the cited source it might be nice to include it as a quote so that others will know this is not a judgement call of the author.

The reference links that I checked all worked and overall the sources all seem reputable. Many of the sources were university magazines, but that seems fitting given that this person is still living and is not the subject of a full length biography. One question I had with the references is whether it is appropriate to reference Kern's CV. This seems like a primary source and does not seem to fit Wikipedia guidelines. I feel like most of the information referenced in the CV could also be found in other articles.

I think the organization and content were all sufficient summaries of the available information. I think adding images of Kern would greatly enhance the quality of this article. Particularly, I think images of her playing basketball from the articles in the references would be interesting to display. I recognize the difficulty of finding pictures that adhere to copyright guidelines so maybe that is why no pictures are included. Overall, I think this is a great article! Well done!