User:Hignis/sandbox

A World Full Of Dads
What are dad bods?

Simply put, dad bods are the types of bodies that most dads have, hence the name "dad bod". This type of body generally has a mix, or all, of the following features:


 * Beer gut
 * Ripped biceps
 * Equally as mean triceps
 * Nice calves
 * Sick mustache & beard combo
 * Another beer gut on their beer gut

How does one acquire a dad bod?


 * 1) Drink a lot of beer
 * 2) Perform the cookout ritual often
 * 3) Play T-Ball
 * 4) Taco Tuesday at least twice a week
 * 5) Work out your arms (calf workouts come from T-Ball)
 * 6) Build a deck

Why are dad bods important?

The dad bod is fundamental to the growth and development of their young, starting from finding a mate to helping them off to find their own, and moving out of the dad's house.

Mating Season

Dad bods help the dad find a mate during the summer months. Walking around the beaches of America, packs of dads flock to where the women are. Women only appreciate the best of the best when it comes to dad bods, so the dads work their entire lives to create them. Once a mate is attracted, the dad brings her to his man den, and shows her his deck and cookout skills. He initiates the mating process by asking her, "Do you want cheese on your burger?" Nine months after the cookout a dadling is born into the world, and the dad does all he can to protect his child from the wrath of the world.

Raising the Young

The young dadling spends most of its time with the mother for the first two years of development. After these years, the dad takes the more developed dadenile under his wing, and shows him the ropes of life. He wrestles with them, and shows them how to defend their territory for themselves, like their snap-on toolboxes. The dads feed the dadeniles cheeseburgers and hotdogs. They also begin to appreciate the art of Taco Tuesday.