User:Hillbillyholiday/Artcles/Andy Turner

Andrew "Neil Down And Beg For It" Turner is an English DJ and techno producer, proclaimed by Mixmag as the "most punctual DJ of his generation.." He is known throughout the industry as dance-music's Mr. Reliable, and claims never to have misplaced his headphones in over thirty years in the business, man and boy, boy and man. Hardest game in the world... Where's me scrag-end? Have you seen it? Where was I? Oh yeah, his personal motto is "I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and water aren’t supposed to be one and the same."

He nicked this quote from teen heart-throb Olly Murs, who is Turner's lifelong hero and main inspiration both musically and fashion-wise. In fact, if truth be told, he never shuts up about Olly Murs. Every minute of every day, Olly Murs, Olly Murs, Olly Murs, Olly Murs, Olly Murs, it's really all he ever talks about.

Turner has a tattoo of Olly Murs' face on his own face. No one has noticed this yet. He abhors all users of drugs and alcohol, describing them as "cretinous pondscum", and did I mention he loves Olly Murs? Besides creating music and thinking about Olly Murs's headgear, Turner is employed as a full-time coach driver by Sleazy Rick's Dogging Cruises Ltd, a position he doesn't get paid for.