User:Hms317/sandbox

Pencil fighting

As the Five-Finger Fillet of elementary school games, Pencil Fighting is perhaps one of the more destructive games found in classrooms and playgrounds everywhere. Readily accessible mechanical pencils, as well as school rules, have caused this once-popular game to dwindle away into the memories of those who were active participants. Of course, at Retroland, we thrive on those memories. The object of the game is simple: to break your opponent’s pencil All one needs to play is a pencil of at least enough length to somewhat safely hold it. One player holds the pencil horizontally, with a hand grasping it on each end, while the other player, the attacker, must swiftly swing his or her pencil down to try and break the other pencil, preferably in the center.There are, of course, other ways to go about it, dictated mostly through the rules. Some variations of the game allow the attacker to come directly down on the pencil, making a perpendicular attack on it. To defend against such a move, the opposing pencil must be strong enough to withstand the more direct force involved. Because of the smaller area of attack, this move can often result in a miss. In some games, a miss allows the opponent an extra turn, which diminishes the other player’s chance of survival. That extra hit can be all it takes to break the pencil. Some players also choose to play “dirty.” A slight tilt upward on one end of the defending pencil often results in a misjudgment for the attacker, and provides a poor surface for an attack. Also in an act of frustration, some attackers have even been known to slip their hand down to break the pencil. The inherent dangers of pencil fighting have caused many schools to ban the game. Not to mention, it’s often a drain on school supplies provided by teachers and the school. The relative obscurity of the game today has caused fans of the game to seek pencil fights outside of school bounds. And for those with professional pencil fighting aspirations, some areas of the U.S. have created pencil fighting championships.

Two challengers face off, each armed with a regulation wooden pencil taken from a factory-sealed pack. The only recognized regulation competition pencil is the Dixon/Ticonderoga #2 yellow – graphite core, cedar shaft, latex eraser with aluminum stay. The pencil may not be sharpened or altered in any way prior to initial combat. A Pink Pearl Eraser flip determines which fighter strikes first. The loser of the eraser flip becomes the “Defender” and holds his or her pencil between both hands in a horizontal position. The winner of the eraser flip becomes the “Striker”, holding their pencil vertically and bringing the pencil down in a strike across the opponent’s pencil with full force, attempting to break it in two. If the Defender’s pencil does not break from the Striker’s attempt, then it becomes the Defender’s turn to strike. This repeats until one player’s pencil breaks in two and cannot continue. If a pencil is cracked, but not fully broken in two, referee determines whether said pencil can continue. If both pencils break during a strike, victory goes to the striker.

TIME LIMIT RULE
If neither competitor’s pencil breaks before the announcers get bored, the announcers will impose an arbitrary number of strikes before the end of the round. At the end of the round, each player will get one penalty shot with the penalty pencil of their choice, with a pink pearl eraser flip to determine who strikes first. If by this point neither competition pencil is broken, the referees will declare a winner based on style, aggression and pencil control.

STRIKING RULES
The striker may position their striking hand as they like, and may hold the eraser end up or down, but the exposed striking area of the pencil must be a minimum of 2 1/2 inches. (Ex: If the eraser end is pointed up, the striking hand must not cover past the “A” in Ticonderoga.) Striker must not have more than one hand on their pencil at point of contact. Using more than one hand during a strike is a major penalty (see Offensive Bracing). The striking pencil must be swung or flicked in an attempt to be horizontal at point of contact. Holding the pencil vertically and pounding, attempting to make contact with the flat of the eraser or unsharpened end  (aka “The Piledriver”), may result in major penalty or disqualification.FOULS:

PENALTY STRIKES
If either player commits a FOUL (whether a Major Penalty or a Minor Penalty) during a turn the referee may award a free PENALTY STRIKE.

PENALTY PENCILS
The free strike may be taken with ANY pencil from the striker’s pencil bag. These pencils are known as “Penalty Pencils” and are allowed to have ANY alteration the competitor deems necessary, but MUST have originally been and continue to be some manner of working wooden pencil. No pens, mechanical pencils, rubber or plastic-fused pencils allowed. As long as it’s made of wood and you can actually write with it. Comically oversized pencils are the norm, wielded with theatrics befitting Lucha Libre.

MAJOR PENALTIES
Penalty strikes may be awarded for the following fouls at the referee’s discretion:
 * Dropping the pencil – either defending or striking, don’t ever drop your pencil.
 * Dipping - Lowering or dropping one end of the defending pencil during the striker’s swing.
 * Defensive Bracing aka “Bridging” - Using the fingers or thumbs to support the defending pencil within the exposed strike zone during the strike.
 * Offensive Bracing aka “Chopping” – Using the fingers or thumb to excessively support the attacking pencil during the strike. (see Striking Grip)
 * Stalling - Only 30 seconds are allowed between strikes.
 * Grip Shifting – Using the hands to reduce the potential strike zone is allowed, but the strike zone may not be smaller than three pencil widths (approx. 1 inch). You can change your grip from strike to strike, but changing your grip during the upswing of the opponent’s strike is a major penalty.
 * Illegal use of hands – Touching the opponent’s body in any way other than striking the hands with a pencil during regular match play is a major penalty.

MINOR PENALTIES

 * Cumulative Minor Penalties aka The Bloody Knuckle Rule – A fighter can accumulate up to FIVE minor penalties, one for each knuckle. The FIFTH minor penalty triggers an automatic major penalty and a free penalty strike for the opponent. If the penalized fighter’s pencil survives the penalty strike, his bloody knuckle count restarts at zero and the fight continues.
 * Knuckle Strikes - The most common minor penalty is the deliberate or accidental striking of the opponent’s knuckles or hand. If the referee feels the knuckle strike was deliberate or egregious, they may call it a major penalty and assign an automatic penalty strike.
 * Missing outright aka “Whiffing” - Managing to miss your opponent’s pencil with your strike is a minor penalty, and is added to your cumulative minors.

“This involved a set of tightly regulated rules whereupon a boy would challenge another to a ‘“pencil duel.’ After some preliminary positioning, two boys would take turns thumping with a single swing using only the wrist and fingers the other’s pencil held firmly and horizontally squeezed inwards firmly by the thumpee being dealt the blow. It was a destructive game, as the two took turns until one or both of the pencils developed cracks to the point of shattering apart to uselessness. The defeated was relegated to sharpening up a salvaged half of his pencil if fortunate enough to have a useable remnant.” Tai Chi is ancient. Pickleball was dreamed up a couple decades ago. So our final segment today will be on other new sports, like World Extreme Pencil Fighting and Flaming Tetherball.

PENCIL FIGHTERS
Harry Bawles (groan) holds the championship belt. 