User:Hockettc30/Vilabouly Complex, Laos/CrustyToast Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Chockett30, Rileymccormick, Pierson.evan


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Hockettc30/Vilabouly Complex, Laos


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * N/A

Evaluate the drafted changes
I cannot tell if "Basis" is your article lead or not. I feel like the first two sentences of this section would make a strong lead section at the top of your article.

"The Vilabouly Complex is significant since it puts archaeologists in a predicament of when did the origin of bronze metallurgy begin in Southeast Asia." I feel like this part could be made a bit more concise, maybe just say "Artifacts recovered from the Vilabouly site have added new insights into the origin of bronze metallurgy in Southeast Asia," or something similar.

"It was estimated that the site was around 400BC - AD 500 as well as 1000 - 400BC reaching both the Iron Age and Bronze Age of Southeast Asia. The site contained a lead signature that followed copper, bronze alloys, and bronze which signifies a massive source of material that can benefit metallurgy in the region. By this, the Vilabouly Complex will hold all the power of the region since it has all the resources to advance their technology during the bronze/iron age." I am having a hard time understanding exactly what you are trying to say here. I would take the time to go through and fix grammatical errors to make sure that you are getting your point across. If you are describing two different time periods (the bronze age and iron age) along with their dates, maybe put the date next to the age it represents.

"Significance the region along with the site had with its geography and how did its location produce trade to other parts of Southeast Asia" I cannot understand what you are trying to say with this section, but the inclusion of a "Geography" header is definitely a good idea.

For your "Contents," or headers, I would consider changing "Materials" to "Artifacts Recovered from the Vilabouly Complex." I am not sure if "Similar Sites to the Vilabouly Complex" is a necessary inclusion, but it could be given the arguments regarding the development of the Iron/Bronze Ages in the region. I followed the general format of the Angkor Wat wiki article to help give me some guidance with my headers, as well as what information is important for the article.

You have a great start on your sources for your wiki article! They are current and diverse. Make sure to cite the information in your article though, so people know which citation goes to the information you are providing.

I would just spend more time fleshing out your article with relevant site information, and make sure to double check the grammar in the article. Your article has a solid foundation, you just need to build it up.