User:HonchoMichael123/Rise of nationalism in the Ottoman Empire/Camel Intellectual Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

HonchoMichael123


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:HonchoMichael123/Rise_of_nationalism_in_the_Ottoman_Empire?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Rise of nationalism in the Ottoman Empire

Evaluate the drafted changes
I like the straight to the point nature of the article. It appeared to me that you went directly for the heart of the issue without beating round the bush. I really appreciate that. However, I want to give a few constructive feedback:


 * 1) I wish there were more (wikipedia) links in the article telling the reader what some terms that are not familiar to average reader are. For example, the Jewish Territorial Organization, Non territorial autonomy, millet systems, and many more especially in the second and third paragraph would really use a link that someone can just go over to the the idea of what they mean in case they are not familiar with the topic.
 * 2) I wish there is more flow in the article. I initially  thought we were going to divide it into subsection in different time frame, i.e., early ottoman empire, late ottoman empire but I think that disappeared in the broad concepts like zionism and ideologies that I am not sure how it fit into the time frame.
 * 3) The article is Palestinian centric. I understand that the Ottoman empire is too large with multiple nationalities during over 400 years of it existence. I however think that the Ottoman empire had multiple nationalities that need attention other than Palestinian nationalities. On the other hand, you can focus on the Rise of Jewish Nationalism in Ottoman Empire and this article would be a great candidate. In the event that this is not possible, I strongly encourage you to consider the format used by the original article or use time to highlight other nationalities. For instance, the rise of other nationalism in early Ottoman, the middle Ottoman, and late Ottoman. This would be more assiduous but it will compete better with the already existing article.

I understand that this is only the first draft. You definitely did a better job than me. So take that as a win. However, please consider the point I raised in the above passage. I wish you good luck with the rest of your paper. I will be excited to see how the final product look like.