User:Honga2/Discovery and settlement of Hawaii/Ramirezd2 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Honga2


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Honga2/Discovery_and_settlement_of_Hawaii?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Discovery and settlement of Hawaii

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think you're on the right track with your proposed new section "Early Hawaiian sites." This article seems to be biased towards the colonial perspective, as the sources it uses are predominately from the notes and observations of non-Hawaiian peoples. I think this article would be served well if you added your intended section, and perhaps some oral histories or other sources from the Native Hawaiian perspective. The title of the article, "Discovery and settlement of Hawaii," is already a bit sketchy, but is even more so inappropriate given the article's emphasis on eastern and western contact with the islands. A section documenting how Native Hawaiians report their development on the island would help to equalize out this balance of perspective within the article. Additionally, a lot of the sub-sections are only tangentially related to the section headings, and could be synthesized into a larger body of text/re-organized.