User:Honkshoo The Bird Man/Apep/Lindsing17 Peer Review

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For the opening section, I would add a sentence further emphasizing his hostile and cyclical relationship with Ra (more than just with light) since that is what he is primarily known for. I agree with the eliminations from the opening paragraph.

I like the changes in emphasis in the development section, and the eliminations included. I would add the c-ware bowl if you can find an image for it, but if not maybe add a similar pottery piece just so audiences can see how he would have been depicted in pottery (with a caption emphasizing this is not the bowl referenced). Also yes I would change the name of the development section, look to other Egyptian god's pages for examples to possibly draw from.

A lot of the battles with Ra section lacks references for claims. I don't see any additions to the references section, so either add some or link to prior ones as appropriate. This section also remains very neutral, which is difficult when discussing so many variations. Maybe emphasize/add why the coffin texts are an especially important example.

I'd double check if there is any historical precedent of Apep worship that was not in an antagonistic relationship in relation to Ra. Or maybe rename the worship section? Worship implies that there is worship of Apep not religious practice of him in relation to Ra.

Generally, connect new ideas to new or old sources. Your neutrality is good, and you did good work in the development section. Since the worship was more centered around Ra than Apep, I'd maybe alter the coverage balance in favor of the Development (to be renamed) section. Strucutre is well done aside from section naming issues you seem aware of already, and I'd just mention Apep's linkage to Ra in the opening section.