User:Hopemanning7/Timurid art/Maclainemary Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Hopemanning7


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Hopemanning7/Timurid art


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Timurid art

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead itself helps to situate the reader in the time period of the Timurids. It also works to emphasize the importance of the topic. In the lead, I would encourage you to add the general locations of the Timurid empire. This will further situate the reader on your topic. I would also be wearing in the lead to better explain the sentence, “considered perhaps one of the richest periods of Islamic art.” Why is this considered to be true? Further neutralize this sentence to make it stronger.

The sections of the article are organized well, in a sensible order. After a broad introduction, the history section further establishes the Timurid Empire. In the history section, I would encourage you to diversify the sources. Only one source is used in this section, and it could make it clearer to turn to a comprehensive, broad textbook to help construct this section. Furthermore, I would consider clarifying the sentence, “After conquering a city, the Timurids commonly spared the lives…” As a reader, I am confused by the word "commonly,” and I am made aware of the fact that I do not know what city they conquered. Overall, the article does a good job distilling the parts of the Timurid Empire’s history that correlate to a shift in their art and architecture through referencing cultural and regional influences.

The architectural section is clear, using reliable sources to situate the reader among the main characteristics of Timurid architecture. I would create a new paragraph for the last sentence, as it is important to the distinction of Timurid Art as your topic. The image further helps the reader understand Timurid art as it was the first major architectural work to be commissioned.

In the Illustration section, you could consider linking the “Persian Miniature” Wikipedia page into the first words “Persian manuscript painting” as another reference point for readers. I would add a more general statement to the start of the section to make clear the mediums in which we see Timurid painting. The second sentence needs to be specified. Perhaps, “Paintings often serve as a visual interpretation of passages paired to them. This custom was used to indicate royal authority and traditions.” Breaking down these sentences will enhance clarity. The third sentence is a run-on and should be separated. Is it important to know who considered painters “the most skilled in their trade”? If so, what techniques did they employ that distinguished them? What does “Timurid-inflected” mean? Would it be better to say, “Timurid artist preferred the use of illustrated paper as opposed to parchment in their manuscripts.”

In the manuscripts section, you add crucial information that helps the reader towards a better understanding. Instead of saying “the Timurids remained true to their heritage,” I would consider something like, “the Timurids continued earlier traditions of manuscript manufacturing associated with the Ilkhanid Mongols and Jalayirids.” I would hyperlink Nastaliq with its corresponding wiki article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nastaliq. As for the final paragraph, I would consider changing the word “repercussions” to “influenced.” Why classical Iranian literature? Reiterate the point here. Lastly, I would split the final sentence into two after “portable objects.”

The metalwork section touches on the most important aspects. I would change “much craftsmenship” to “skilled craftsmanship.” What is the “Islamic period” referring to in the second paragraph? Referencing the earliest metalwork produced is a great addition, and could be supplemented with an image.

In the ceramics and carving section, you should relocate the first sentence, “Chinese-style ceramics were produced by Timurid artisans.” It should be placed underneath the first paragraph along with jade carving.

In Legacy, I would be weary of the term “unique.” Instead, I would say something like, “The art and architecture produced by the Timurids displays their unique national identity. It has served as an inspiration throughout the Islamic world, from Anatolia to India.”

Hope, you construct a comprehensive, scholarly intervention with this article. It needed crucial pieces of information that you clearly provide. I think my main points of constructive criticism lie in sentence clarity and occasional subjectivity. All in all, great job.