User:HornNest/Violeta Parra/Tjade21 Peer Review

General info
HornNest
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * HornNest/Violeta Parra
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Violeta Parra

Lead
The lead has been properly edited where it can be, not a lot of information need to be edited Jessie did a good job at changing some information that wasn't entirely true. The lead was not overdetailed and set up Parra's early life well. Jessie is planning on adding information so I don't think any information needs to be added.

Content
Context is relevant and the parts I might have believed were over derailed i suggested corrections. Those parts lacking detail its clear Jessie is actively looking for correct citations of this information. Context looks up to date and context that is missing is clear will be added later on in the final.

"Two years after Violeta's birth, the family moved to Santiago, then, two years later, to Lautaro and, finally, in 1927, to Chillán." I can see the necessity for the commas, there was a lot of moving and trying to explain this process in much detail which I appreciate (I love the detail it adds so much), but all of these commas in the same sentence are a tad confusing as a reader. Maybe some better wording would fix the need for all of the commas "Her family moved to Santiago at the age of two, but did not reside there long-term. By the age of 4, her family moved to Lautaro and finally in 1927 to Chillan where she would grow up."

"w Later, she moved back with her mother and siblings to Edison Street, in the Quinta Normal district." Since you don't have a citation for this sentence I would delete it, unless she published or had an inspiration from there family home on Edison Street, it might be a tad too irrelevant for the grand scheme of the article.

Tone and Balance
The tone added is neutral, Jessie is going to fix the tone in the lead. Nothing points to me as bias. Nothing is overrepresented and Jessie did ask good questions in her article in which I hope she finds success in finding out. Nothing is in place to pursue the reader

Sources and References
Not many sources were added to the sandbox, its clear Jessie is looking for them. the sources added seem to be reliable and update. They clearly add to the article where sources were imputed.

Organization
Context is clear and imputed well in to the article, I did edit parts I believed needed better wording and understanding. There are some spelling and grammar errors but I also share that same annoyance of not having spell checker work when I need it and I already talked to Jessie about it. I think overall its well organized for what it is, there's a lot that needs to be added but Jessie already stated what needs to be more organized. Since Jessie is only editing certain parts of the article as well as adding in two new sections I think everything in the mean time looks great. A lot of work will need to be done but with the work she already has and the ideas she's incorporating I think she has a good head start.

Images and Media
No new media