User:Hotpink789!/Chris Hoofnagle/Luckyclover44 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Hotpink789!


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Hotpink789!/Chris Hoofnagle


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Chris Hoofnagle

Lead

 * Lead has been updated to reflect changes in the article
 * Lead includes a concise and relevant introductory sentence
 * Lead does not include a brief description of the section "Denialism"
 * Lead does not include information that's not in the article
 * Lead is concise and not overly detailed

Content

 * Content added is relevant to the topic
 * Content is up to date (maybe mention when the articles were published and if he has any new works in progress or recent publications to get an idea of when he is active)

Tone and Balance

 * Content is neutral
 * No biased, overrepresented, or underrepresented views
 * No persuasion

Sources and References

 * Difficult to gauge accuracy of material because the papers are not easily accessible
 * From Wikipedia:Citing Sources: "For academic sources, the convenience link is typically a reprint provided by an open-access repository, such as the author's university's library or institutional repository. Such green open access links are generally preferable to paywalled or otherwise commercial and unfree sources."

Organization

 * Article is well-organized and structured
 * No spelling or grammatical errors
 * Just some of my suggestions on wording, etc. (nothing major):
 * Under Social networking services: the first paragraph could be more concise, such as combining "the price" and "the consequence" of the transaction
 * Under Commercial data brokers: To make the list more consistent: "there shouldn't be distinctions between commercial and government collection of information" --> "commercial and government collection of information shouldn't be distinct."

Overall
Great job! I really enjoyed reading your article draft and about the research that Prof. Hoofnagle has done. Adding a section on his research has definitely strengthened the article a lot!