User:Htetnaingoo9/International organization/RPIRED Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Htetnaingoo9


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Htetnaingoo9/International organization
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * International organization
 * International organization

Lead
Improving on this article's lead was a bit challenging, because the lead as it existed in the original article was fairly well put together. I think the additions in the first paragraph better set the tone for the remainder of the article the way a good lead should, but the additions in the second two paragraphs, including the addition of more international organizations is a little bit distracting. There are plenty of good opportunities to elaborate on examples of international organizations in the meat of the article, too many in the lead might just be too much clutter. I would select a few of the very best examples and then where necessary, mention others elsewhere in the article as appropriate.

Content
This is a broad topic, which makes it difficult to find a good place to "kickstart" the main part of the discussion. In that sense I think eliminating the history element might not have been the best course: explaining how international organizations came to be would be an excellent way to lay the groundwork for being able to fully discuss the role they play in the modern world. Perhaps an introductory blend of history and purpose would be the best way to set the table.

We could also use more of a segue into discussing the United Nations, which is an organization of outsized importance in the world of international organizations. In discussing the UN we need to get a much better feel for exactly what kind of role it plays and how it interacts with other international organizations.

The original article doesn't do a great job of leading into the discussion of the UN and its various agencies, we need a lot more of a build into that section. I agree that it should stay and be fully revamped, but make sure that the discussion flows more freely and discusses a lot more about why these agencies are important.

I also like maintaining the regional organization discussion, but this should probably come after discussing the UN as we start getting a little more into smaller organizations. The part about the oldest regional organization would be better placed at the top of the section. I really love the parts that were added, though. They really drive home the concept.

Finally, I think the existing section on international NGOs doesn't need to be as big as it is in the original, but perhaps a passing reference would have been nice to include, or at least more of a discussion on how those organizations fit into the world of international organizations.

Tone and Balance
The article doesn't attempt to sway the reader in one way or another on the value of international organizations, and that immediately sets the right tone. Perhaps there could be room for arguments in support or in opposition to certain powers that IOs might hold in the international community as an enhancement of the article that would illuminate on one of the bigger sticking points that comes with cooperating with and between international organizations.

Sources and References
Be sure that your sources aren't to repetitive at the bottom; it's OK to reuse sources for different parts of your additions, but there's no need to repeat the source as one normally would in a list of endnotes. Since the sources can all be linked together, different links to citations in the main body can link to the same source at the bottom.

Two sources from academic journals in a very good start, but this topic would absolutely benefit from a broader review of the literature, considering the breadth of the academic research that has been done on the topic.

Organization
Htet, I know English isn't your first language so a hearty amount of leeway is warranted here. I think, all things being equal, this is a great first attempt to make this article flow a little better. I've discussed a few things I think should be moved around above, but really this is a solid first attempt. There are some steps that could be taken to make the article easier to read but that will come with a few simple adjustments. The major elements of discussion are, for the most part, present.

Overall impressions
This is a terrific start! The article as it currently exists does not really give the reader a strong impression about the nature of international organizations beyond, really, "they exist, and they do some things." You've really started drilling into the core rationales and creating something new that will add value to the reader's comprehension.