User:Huckstuhr/We Bring Good Things to Life/Doas52 Peer Review

General info
Huckstuhr
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Huckstuhr/We_Bring_Good_Things_to_Life?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * We Bring Good Things to Life:

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: You make some great improvements to the original lead of the article. Your improvements provide new information that shows how the campaign for the slogan came to an end. The only suggestion I could make would be to instead of discussing how the campaign ended in the lead, you could have a section in the body that discusses this topic. This is more of a personal choice though and having it in the lead works too.

Content: You add some valuable content to the article with the past slogans section and historical context. Back to my previous point, the subject of the end of the slogan could also be a section on it's own within the body of the article. There are some statements in the body that could be backed up with evidence such as. "During World War Two most appliance manufactures were tasked with making parts for war rather than mass producing their products." I would also say there is room to add more content considering the original article is pretty small. Overall solid work on the content.

Tone and Balance: Your tone is very neutral which is exactly what we are looking for. I do not see any bias or opinionated statements.

Sources: You have 10 sources and they are cited within in the text, very well done. There are a couple statements that should have citations such as the statement that I quoted earlier.

Organization: Organization is well done especially with the addition of text from the original article and your additions added in bold text. I notice at least one or two spelling error which appear to just be typos. Grammar seems to be fine as well.

Images and media: You add two unique images that add a lot to the article. The original article does not have any media so this is a very nice addition.

Overall Impression:

Does your peer have 5-7 reliable sources?

yes

Is at least one of them a source from class reading or the "suggested sources" list?

yes

Does the topic link in some way to our course material?

yes

Does your peer add historical context to their article?

yes

Based on what you know from course content, what do you think Wikipedia users should know about this topic? In other words, what would you recommend adding and/or considering further?

As professor Heinz said in our Zoom meeting, I would suggest discussing the Consumer's Republic topics in a way that can be understood by people who have not taken this class.

Overall I think that your article is very well done. It adds some great new information to the original article that was very needed. Your media additions are also noticeable and appropriate. In terms of possible improvements, as I said before maybe create a new section about how the campaign came to an end and maybe add some more citations for certain statements.