User:Huginnscientia/Turtle brain evolution/Salinas413 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

- Huginnscientia


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Huginnscientia/Turtle_brain_evolution?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Turtle and Brain

Evaluate the drafted changes
First of all, great job overall! I tried to be extra detailed but you really have a great draft!

Draft for Turtle page:

The 3rd sentence in the first paragraph is a little long - I know it's tough because you are referencing so many articles in one sentence but maybe you can split it with a semi-colon or something? Also, I would love one more sentence after that briefly explaining how these properties debunk the theory you mentioned. Were those features you listed the ones that were not previously thought to be shared between reptiles and humans? And are they they ones that make a brain more advanced?

For the second paragraph, I think the first sentence is a bit long also - is there a way to group some of those? I'm not very educated on the brain, but maybe there some grouping that could at least split them into a couple categories and those could be separate sentences? Also, I trust that this information is probably common knowledge to you (a turtle expert!!) but I would suggest adding a reference for that information for all of us lay people. For the sentence that starts with "The cortex, locate on the cerebral hemispheres" - I think this is supposed to be "located" rather than "locate."

" Different than mammals, The reptilian cortex has three-layers, while the mammalian cortex has mammals have six-layers. " - Just a suggestion on wording, nothing was wrong I just thought it was unnecessary to mention mammals twice.

"Difference that had led to the conclusion of the neocortex been a mammalian novelty." - I think this one needs a couple words changed, should it say "differences that led to the conclusion of the neocortex have been a mammalian novelty"? If not then I just misunderstood the sentence so maybe consider rewording for people like me that are a bit confused.

"In turtles, the medial layer is comprised of a densely packed layer of neuronal cells, containing two principal classes of neurons: pyramidal cells – characterized by spiny apical dendrites and firing of long-duration action potentials; and stellate neurons – found in the subcellular and molecular layers, characterized by the lack of spiny dendrites and firing of short action potentials." - I love this sentence! I do think you should check the use of dashes - I might be wrong here but I think you might need a dash on the beginning and end of each comment (like the way parentheses are used).

Love it overall!! My only other question - will you be adding anything on the lateral cortex (and also the dorsal cortex since there is only one sentence)? If they don't do much, I still think it's worth mentioning that they aren't as studied because they have less impact etc. Would love to see those mentioned!

Draft for Brain page:

You might link the definition of amniote - not sure most people know what that is.

"characteristics reveled by recent anatomical," - this is supposed to say revealed right?

"Vertebrates share the highest levels of similarities during embryological development, controlled by conserved transcription factors and signaling centers, these include similar gene expression, morphological and cell type differentiation ." - I'm just being nit-picky here but I would prefer this was either two sentences split at "centers. These..." or you switch the word these for "which" so it would read "signaling centers which include..."

"however its has numerous" - just need to remove the "s" in "its"

"Forebrain region is particularly well" - I think this just needs to start with "The forebrain region" or you could say "Forebrain regions"

Other than the minor wording changes/typos I think it sounds great!! Good job! :)