User:Hush Muninn/Khepri/Eggiee! Peer Review

General info
Hush Muninn
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Hush Muninn/Khepri
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Khepri

The Lead
The lead provides some good basic information on Khepri that helps to set the stage for the rest of the article. It feels a little short in comparison to the rest of the article though. I think the way you have everything structured totally makes sense, but I think if you wanted to, you could absolutely merge the lead and the etymology sections since the etymology kind of already feels like a secondary introduction to the rest of the article. Much of what is important about Khepri is what he symbolizes as a deity, so I think it would be fitting to have that section that dissects what his name means included with the lead. Regardless, it works great either way. :)

Clarity of Article Structure
I like the structure of the article overall, and it definitely feels much less repetitive than the original article, so good job on that formatting.

I really like having the appearance section that shows all of the different forms and artistic representations of Khepri, but I feel like it may be better to have the blurb that says "Khepri was depicted as either a scarab holding aloft the sun disk or as a human male with a scarab for a head. The scarab amulets that the Egyptians used as jewelry and as seals allude to Khepri and the newborn sun. The beetle carvings became so common that excavators have found them throughout the Mediterranean." before all of the pictures, as it feels a bit disconnected from the rest of the section as-is.

This is totally a matter of personal preference, but I would also move the appearances section down below everything else, like how the original article has the gallery at the end as I think that everything feels a lot more cohesive that way :)

If you find some information for it, I think it would be really cool to include the pop-culture references to him in this article!

Coverage Balance
Other than the lead feeling a little shorter than the rest, everything feels really balanced to me! I feel as though I have gotten a good overview of Khepri and can now understand the role he plays in the mythos that surrounds him. It also does no try to sway my thinking at all to any sort of opinion, it just has facts and speculation is well telegraphed and sourced.

The last paragraph of the symbolism section feels just a little long for a single paragraph on Wikipedia, but that would be fixed with a paragraph break, possibly after the sentence that ends "...have the scarabs act as protective charms" or "...suggests that the color symbolized a cycle of life, death, and rebirth." Not necessary though, just may help to make it all flow well!

"It is unclear how Khepri died and how a serpent will five heads came to guard his corpse." typo? :0

Content Neutrality
No, I would not have guessed the authors opinion on Khepri. If any generalizations are made its because its leading into a sentence that clarifies it, so the article doesn't feel like its being too vague or general with anything!