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University of Strathclyde: Mull Campus

The Mull Campus, whose central building is a 200-year-old manse in immaculate Grade A condition, is one of the lesser known campuses of the University of Strathclyde. Though the most recent addition to the University’s estate, it can trace its educational origins to a Church of Scotland minister in the 1840s who operated a lending library. Local historians say there is considerable evidence this was actually a shebeen and the Statistical Account for Argyllshire indeed shows a sharp drop in levels of male literacy during this period. Endowed to the University by a rich commercial sponsor, the campus has no costs to Estates Management. It is set in ample grounds and overlooks a loch which gives access to private piscatorial activities and (in season) to natation in an aqueous environment. Within the main building, there is located a generously equipped kitchen and one of the finest wine cellars to be found outside Oxbridge: thus allowing a set of activities which are at the core of the activities known as the Mull Hotel School. Its fine walled vegetable garden is personned by a small army of peasants drawn from its academic community and supplies the campus with an endless supply of fresh vegetables and fruit. Free range eggs and chickens come from a neighbouring farm and fuel (inter alia) interesting academic debates as to which came first. Two local fishermen are visiting fellows who supply crab, lobsters and langoustines to the kitchen. A greenhouse provides tomatoes and genetically-enhanced cucumbers as by-products of ground-breaking research activities associated with the University’s pursuit of excellence in the area of pharmacy. In the vacation period the campus provides a summer school for Thai culture, thus being the only school of South Eastern Asian Studies in the Western Isles. The landscaping of the extensive grounds has been set out by groundsmen Hughes and Connelly operating under the personal supervision of a Deputy Principal of the University. As with all good gardeners, they are a rich source of philosophical wisdom. It is the first campus of the University to be a wholly wireless environment. As a result, there are frequent breaches of IPR in the messages emanating from it; mostly in late night e-mails which tell old jokes. For those suffering from obsessive compulsive disorders, the Mull School of Sports enables - via its IT facilities - therapeutic access to Setanta Sports. The Rangers channel is however banned. As with all centres which set out to copy Oxbridge, it has no readily discernible management structure other than being run in an idiosyncratic manner which is the outcome of democratic (and often acrimonious) debates. It does however have an executive chef, who has been trained in management skills by Gordon Ramsay. It has no Planning Office; and visits to it by Faculty Officers are strictly limited. While generally a tolerant community, it has a total ban on visits from Internal Audit or from Safety Services.

Executive travel to the Mull campus includes a stop-over at the premier restaurant in Oban before a chauffeur driven transfer to the campus. The discretion of the chauffeur about the dining and wining experience of the clients is guaranteed. A QA inspection of the campus by an English Vice-Chancellor has resulted in the award of a 5* rating. That inspection noted, among several examples of innovative practice, the use of catering and scholarship contracts, whereby kitchen staff teach undergraduate classes.